Friday, December 30, 2011
loose, neutral, and open to possibility
neutral allows flow, directed by intent. judgment equals resistance, which hangs up flow. diverts flow into the monkey-mind condition of having to figure out "why? (why is this happening?)" and "how? (how do i get past this?)". expectation separates the flow of intent from action in the present moment, and creates a chasm between pleasure now (knowing all is well, everything is happening Right on schedule, the universe is automatically in your favor) and a perceived "future" moment when a certain outcome will/should present itself. since there is ever only the Now, shifting focus and Worry (with a capital W) to the future only serves to divide up the energy stream that you are Now into bunched up bitz, separating yourself from the reflection, in the moment, of your pure intent.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
so many thoughts flittin about thru my brain cells. if they were birds (cotton candy >wrey), they would be gettin tired from not landing for so long. maybe flying into each other, gettin a bit scrambled. i don't really feel like i have the time to sit and land a few of them, into words, on a page, albeit virtual. so much still to do, getting settled into the new place/space. but here's taking a few minutes, just a few.
i keep thinking over and over how primitive, Primitive, is this world, this society. this planet. its nearly unbelievable.
also, i am Aware of how my View of my Life has changed. its not linear anymore. i don't seem In It all the time like i used to for all those years that i've lived already. its like i can see it from above, or outside, well really no direction, just Apart, at the same time i'm living it. both perspectives at once. like i'm the insect crawling around and the eyes watching the insect crawl around. feeling both views at the same time. ha, i can feel my own eyes watching Me. my own cosmic ears listening as my thoughts fall so easily down through my brain, out of my mouth and into the World. more sharply than ever, aware of how i am changing the scene through my presence. the impact i am having on physical events. an impact i will not have after death. or after transition, i should say, as there really is no death in the way so many people believe there is. that's a good example of the primitiveness here... the idea that each person is just a random accident of nature with no meaning outside the context of physical body living within a framework of religion and government. all it takes is a good out-of-body experience to get over that one :) when you find yourself conscious and aware Outside your body, moving through walls as if they were apparitions, then you Know you are much more than just a body. and when you are in one place and the thought of a place on the other side of the world occurs to you, and you suddenly find yourself there... then you know that Space is just an illusion as well. it is all a mental construct. there is only consciousness. existing. using time and space as a playground.
lately, i'm even More sensitive to lack of light. ultrasensitive to dark spaces... when passing through them, i can Feel my energy level waning. likewise, sitting in the sun (which seems extra bright and getting brighter by the day) gives me rushes of energy that feel orgasmic. i'm Obsessed with getting the lighting right inside the house. going back and forth between store and home, trying different bulbs in various spaces. its like there's a whole other continuum of experience just within room lighting.
i keep thinking over and over how primitive, Primitive, is this world, this society. this planet. its nearly unbelievable.
also, i am Aware of how my View of my Life has changed. its not linear anymore. i don't seem In It all the time like i used to for all those years that i've lived already. its like i can see it from above, or outside, well really no direction, just Apart, at the same time i'm living it. both perspectives at once. like i'm the insect crawling around and the eyes watching the insect crawl around. feeling both views at the same time. ha, i can feel my own eyes watching Me. my own cosmic ears listening as my thoughts fall so easily down through my brain, out of my mouth and into the World. more sharply than ever, aware of how i am changing the scene through my presence. the impact i am having on physical events. an impact i will not have after death. or after transition, i should say, as there really is no death in the way so many people believe there is. that's a good example of the primitiveness here... the idea that each person is just a random accident of nature with no meaning outside the context of physical body living within a framework of religion and government. all it takes is a good out-of-body experience to get over that one :) when you find yourself conscious and aware Outside your body, moving through walls as if they were apparitions, then you Know you are much more than just a body. and when you are in one place and the thought of a place on the other side of the world occurs to you, and you suddenly find yourself there... then you know that Space is just an illusion as well. it is all a mental construct. there is only consciousness. existing. using time and space as a playground.
lately, i'm even More sensitive to lack of light. ultrasensitive to dark spaces... when passing through them, i can Feel my energy level waning. likewise, sitting in the sun (which seems extra bright and getting brighter by the day) gives me rushes of energy that feel orgasmic. i'm Obsessed with getting the lighting right inside the house. going back and forth between store and home, trying different bulbs in various spaces. its like there's a whole other continuum of experience just within room lighting.
Friday, August 19, 2011
thanks seth, for the golden nuggets
been reading seth (and jane and rob) for many years, most of my adult life. have all the books, have read and re-read the same passages over and over again thru-out the years. as i’m getting older (well i should say... now that i’m Old), i’m finally getting it, Really getting it, how huge and deep our experience is. and how much of it we’ve been leaving on the table. lifetime after lifetime of limited beliefs and ignorance of our true heritage. its mind boggling, truly mind boggling how ignorant we are of who we are, why we are here, our origins, history, and future. our unexplored capabilities, our multi-dimensionality, and our worth. perhaps what blows me away the most is how willing people are to accept rhetoric that doesn’t make sense instead of real answers. how so very many people live small lives and seem content to trade their personal power for safety and the habitual known. how many of us seemed locked into these menial existences of just trying to get along.
my perspective on my own life has expanded tremendously. i no longer see myself just living a linear life, moving forward in a straight line and nearing its end. i see more and more of the whole of me... other probable versions of me (thank god! i’d hate to think that this is All of me). past lives, future lives; and sensing the part that This me plays in the overall adventure. i’m seeing thru layers, in between the officially accepted, and beyond the daily same old.
as i’m coming to more practically understand what seth is saying, it feels like (thru the years) he has laid a truckload of gold nuggets at my feet, and i’m only just now realizing their true value. with only a relative few seconds left to pick up as many as i can, i feel them full in the palms of my hands and slipping through my fingers as my human-oriented mind can grasp only so many at once. part of me feels like a barefoot child running around in awe, while another part of me watches with smiles as i connect with more and more of my whole self.
thank you seth. and jane and rob. without you, my world would be a very different place.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
a morning glimpse
exquisitely wonderful day today! i Love summer!! had coffee on the patio, with some happy cats and a very cute spider in attendance. the air is fresh and perfect, the sun is warm but not hot. sounds of birdies and squirrels playing in the trees. so i come in and lay my mat on the floor, just inside the house, in front of the wide open door, so i don't have to leave the feel of the outdoors while i'm working out. stretching gently, breathing in deeply, thinking about how i'm breathing in the sun and the butterflies and the sounds of the critters. even the smell of wufka's fresh poop in the litter box by the back door didn't bother me much. it all mixed together sublimely... and as i'm taking in a breath, i experienced a momentary realization that i wasn't just 'breathing in' all those things, i WAS BEING all those things. not just 'experiencing', but Being. changing form with each breath, to include those elements of creation that i'm Now aware of, and Now. and now. spreading my consciousness out to be this, and now this, and now this.
i used to wonder 'why slugs', what purpose do they serve. they keep popping up in my mental imagery. no surprise since there's tons of them everywhere (here in oregon, anyway). in relation to the above, i was picturing how slugs move forward, reaching and spreading their bodies out long. they seem to 'incorporate' what's in front of them into themselves. if they touch something they don't like, they instantly recoil, and move in the other direction. if you mess with them much, they draw themselves up, appearing much smaller, and don't move. i once saw two slugs mating, a long time ago, like back in the early 90's. before i came to appreciate slugs. at the time, i thought it was disgusting. all wrapped up in each other, twisted and twirled around and hanging down in one slimy drippy mess. ugh!
if i saw that again, i would take it in. and let the beauty of two consciousnesses coming together in energy pervade my soul. how wonderful that i am someone different in every moment!! and that i get to choose what to take in, and what to recoil from.
i used to wonder 'why slugs', what purpose do they serve. they keep popping up in my mental imagery. no surprise since there's tons of them everywhere (here in oregon, anyway). in relation to the above, i was picturing how slugs move forward, reaching and spreading their bodies out long. they seem to 'incorporate' what's in front of them into themselves. if they touch something they don't like, they instantly recoil, and move in the other direction. if you mess with them much, they draw themselves up, appearing much smaller, and don't move. i once saw two slugs mating, a long time ago, like back in the early 90's. before i came to appreciate slugs. at the time, i thought it was disgusting. all wrapped up in each other, twisted and twirled around and hanging down in one slimy drippy mess. ugh!
if i saw that again, i would take it in. and let the beauty of two consciousnesses coming together in energy pervade my soul. how wonderful that i am someone different in every moment!! and that i get to choose what to take in, and what to recoil from.
Friday, July 8, 2011
dare i
from june 29th, 2011
dare i not feel alone
dare i feel the all of me
at least as far out as i can go.
because the all of me, is literally - the ALL.
and by design - this me cannot be me and contain all that.
but paradoxically, it does.
its the rushing in to see the rest
that creates the wanting
its the knowing that i'm more
so much more
that makes me move.
dare i not feel alone
dare i feel the all of me
at least as far out as i can go.
because the all of me, is literally - the ALL.
and by design - this me cannot be me and contain all that.
but paradoxically, it does.
its the rushing in to see the rest
that creates the wanting
its the knowing that i'm more
so much more
that makes me move.
beliefs form the framework
from june 29th, 2011
your beliefs frame your existence, like a window that your soul peers through. imagine a spaceship, flying through the vastness of a single lifetime of possibility. belief is your map, your direction, your calling card for experience. as you believe - you see, you know, you live. you must believe something to be alive. to be a life. belief chooses which window of all the possible windows you will view the physical world through.
when you get comfortable in one spot, one place, you tend not to want to move. the view becomes a comfort, but also after awhile, a hindrance, as you must overcome a bit of inertia in order to move.
as you believe yourself to be, so you Are. Not as you contemplate, but as you Know. therefore, the better you get at defining yourself, the harder it can be to see things differently. in the beginning of a lifetime, when things are relatively malleable, when you first become aware that You, not They (parents, family, etc.), get to define who you are - who you shall become, when you still perceive your life out ahead of you, when the future - your future - seems vast and full of possibility, it is easy to switch back and forth between windows - frameworks - definitions of who you are. as you age, your view becomes smaller as your perceived future shrinks and your definitions become set. not so fluid, not so easy to change. this is not to say it can't be done - but the inertia to be overcome can seem unreasonably difficult.
you were worried about worry, about your brain being full, about nothing seeming easy. you were worried about waking to worry, about your view out the window of your soul seeming clouded, about your self-words (it can't be done, i can't have this thing, do this thing, be this thing). wondering how that belief, that view, came into existence, how it colors your experience, why it seems so hard to change.
you waded in quicksand and got stuck, like so many others; it is not a reason for self-condemnation. loosen up on the ego, soften the hold on the reins. *nothing is more real than anything else*. it just seems so because you've been sitting in that chair for so long, looking out the same window, forgotten that so many other possibilities exist, forgotten what you so easily "knew" in your youth. lack of seeing new possibility causes many to transition. it becomes easier to leave the house for a whole new neighborhood than to just change rooms.
now the ego is designed to plant itself in one place; it seeks stability. otherwise you could not have an experience as one being, for what seems to you as years of a particular lifetime. ego anchors you into experience. beliefs strengthen ego to do its job. trouble is - can be- that ego works overtime. fearing the chaotic experiences it sometimes creates/encounters, it seeks ever more stability, ever more control. ego can become so rigid/unmoving that you can lose the natural fluidity that you were born with, the ability to flow easily from one possibility to another.
consider practicing (to gain the experience of the feeling of loosening up) leaving holes - allowing the holes to fill by themselves, as water will rush in at high tide, filling the open spaces of sand. your job is to dig the holes (with pure, simple, uncountered desire), then step away and allow the water to rush in. let it be easy...
your beliefs frame your existence, like a window that your soul peers through. imagine a spaceship, flying through the vastness of a single lifetime of possibility. belief is your map, your direction, your calling card for experience. as you believe - you see, you know, you live. you must believe something to be alive. to be a life. belief chooses which window of all the possible windows you will view the physical world through.
when you get comfortable in one spot, one place, you tend not to want to move. the view becomes a comfort, but also after awhile, a hindrance, as you must overcome a bit of inertia in order to move.
as you believe yourself to be, so you Are. Not as you contemplate, but as you Know. therefore, the better you get at defining yourself, the harder it can be to see things differently. in the beginning of a lifetime, when things are relatively malleable, when you first become aware that You, not They (parents, family, etc.), get to define who you are - who you shall become, when you still perceive your life out ahead of you, when the future - your future - seems vast and full of possibility, it is easy to switch back and forth between windows - frameworks - definitions of who you are. as you age, your view becomes smaller as your perceived future shrinks and your definitions become set. not so fluid, not so easy to change. this is not to say it can't be done - but the inertia to be overcome can seem unreasonably difficult.
you were worried about worry, about your brain being full, about nothing seeming easy. you were worried about waking to worry, about your view out the window of your soul seeming clouded, about your self-words (it can't be done, i can't have this thing, do this thing, be this thing). wondering how that belief, that view, came into existence, how it colors your experience, why it seems so hard to change.
you waded in quicksand and got stuck, like so many others; it is not a reason for self-condemnation. loosen up on the ego, soften the hold on the reins. *nothing is more real than anything else*. it just seems so because you've been sitting in that chair for so long, looking out the same window, forgotten that so many other possibilities exist, forgotten what you so easily "knew" in your youth. lack of seeing new possibility causes many to transition. it becomes easier to leave the house for a whole new neighborhood than to just change rooms.
now the ego is designed to plant itself in one place; it seeks stability. otherwise you could not have an experience as one being, for what seems to you as years of a particular lifetime. ego anchors you into experience. beliefs strengthen ego to do its job. trouble is - can be- that ego works overtime. fearing the chaotic experiences it sometimes creates/encounters, it seeks ever more stability, ever more control. ego can become so rigid/unmoving that you can lose the natural fluidity that you were born with, the ability to flow easily from one possibility to another.
consider practicing (to gain the experience of the feeling of loosening up) leaving holes - allowing the holes to fill by themselves, as water will rush in at high tide, filling the open spaces of sand. your job is to dig the holes (with pure, simple, uncountered desire), then step away and allow the water to rush in. let it be easy...
question: what the heck is going on?
from june 24th, 2011
many entities expressing many viewpoints inside a mental atmosphere of distrust of self, expressions of powerlessness, loss of hope, not understanding what "hope" is. what does it mean when people say "i (we) hope it gets better"? its putting one's life circumstances into someone else's hands, its putting one's state of being out there to be blown around in the conflicting winds of deceit and greed. people everywhere bringing up issues from the depths of their beings, using this playing field to purge their souls of old energies, tired arenas of activity that have been thoroughly explored. so many of you moving on, to other playgrounds. one of the big opportunities before you now is exactly in the area of holding your own energy within the always swirling/changing mix. realizing that you yourself are the director of your own being, your own life.
so its obvious that you are co-creating with other beings, but so many of you see the "world" impinging upon you, instead of you impinging upon the world.
decide where you are going, and there you Are. know this within yourself. it just doesn't matter where anyone else is. let them be where they are, graciously, without judgment or concern.
the game is not "out there", you are not in some mental battle to discover "the truth", to figure out what's being hidden from you, to pit yourself against "them". the game is within. its not about pretending that what you know/see isn't there. the whole of you knows. the incarnated ego cannot fool the inner self. for so long (which really amounts to: for such an intense focus), the "self" has cordoned off bits of itself and thrown stones from one bit to another. this applies to the whole of humanity as well as to the individual human. as you are able to dissolve the fog between the various parts of yourselves, and take action as a whole being, so will humanity come together in the same way.
the distrust so apparent in planetwide society is reflective of the distrust inside yourselves. if you feel powerless against leaders and regimes and are raging against that, it is your own internal sense of powerlessness that you rage against. many are now recognizing their own individual power, within society, and in their own lives. always, the outer is but a reflection of the inner. unless one is able to tie these things together, in their own minds, they are battling paper tigers, even to their own seemingly real and bloody deaths. all chose to be here, in this time, playing their part in bringing man together, into a unified whole. man, as an individual - dissolving the barriers between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious - the dream universe, astral planes of existence, and other "lives" - probable selves and family-of-consciousness connections. and man as a species, maturing into a future race capable of interaction with beings of other dimensions and origins.
____
question: well: a comment. i get discouraged at my own negative thinking. sometimes i have to push push push myself to try to see the positive side of things. i read inspiring material; i make programs for myself, but don't follow them for more than a few days. i get all hyped up about changing things for myself, then fall back down into inertia. help.
you continue to rearrange furniture in an old room. move yourself into a whole new room, an entirely different room. the world is a very different place, in this now. be in the now world. and don't try to drag the old stuff in there with you :). no matter what situation you were in, you wouldn't be happy with things remaining the same. its inevitable that life changes, You are constantly changing - the human race is changing. don't try so hard to live from the old perspective - that does take energy. takes You, because You are the energy of yourself - you can flow your river of energy wherever you please. it seems so difficult flowing into the past because its out of alignment with who you are Now. the person that you have become through the living of your life, your explorations and experience.
you are still heavily invested in (flowing the energy that is you into) interactions with others, when your interactions with yourself could be your primary focus.
many entities expressing many viewpoints inside a mental atmosphere of distrust of self, expressions of powerlessness, loss of hope, not understanding what "hope" is. what does it mean when people say "i (we) hope it gets better"? its putting one's life circumstances into someone else's hands, its putting one's state of being out there to be blown around in the conflicting winds of deceit and greed. people everywhere bringing up issues from the depths of their beings, using this playing field to purge their souls of old energies, tired arenas of activity that have been thoroughly explored. so many of you moving on, to other playgrounds. one of the big opportunities before you now is exactly in the area of holding your own energy within the always swirling/changing mix. realizing that you yourself are the director of your own being, your own life.
so its obvious that you are co-creating with other beings, but so many of you see the "world" impinging upon you, instead of you impinging upon the world.
decide where you are going, and there you Are. know this within yourself. it just doesn't matter where anyone else is. let them be where they are, graciously, without judgment or concern.
the game is not "out there", you are not in some mental battle to discover "the truth", to figure out what's being hidden from you, to pit yourself against "them". the game is within. its not about pretending that what you know/see isn't there. the whole of you knows. the incarnated ego cannot fool the inner self. for so long (which really amounts to: for such an intense focus), the "self" has cordoned off bits of itself and thrown stones from one bit to another. this applies to the whole of humanity as well as to the individual human. as you are able to dissolve the fog between the various parts of yourselves, and take action as a whole being, so will humanity come together in the same way.
the distrust so apparent in planetwide society is reflective of the distrust inside yourselves. if you feel powerless against leaders and regimes and are raging against that, it is your own internal sense of powerlessness that you rage against. many are now recognizing their own individual power, within society, and in their own lives. always, the outer is but a reflection of the inner. unless one is able to tie these things together, in their own minds, they are battling paper tigers, even to their own seemingly real and bloody deaths. all chose to be here, in this time, playing their part in bringing man together, into a unified whole. man, as an individual - dissolving the barriers between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious - the dream universe, astral planes of existence, and other "lives" - probable selves and family-of-consciousness connections. and man as a species, maturing into a future race capable of interaction with beings of other dimensions and origins.
____
question: well: a comment. i get discouraged at my own negative thinking. sometimes i have to push push push myself to try to see the positive side of things. i read inspiring material; i make programs for myself, but don't follow them for more than a few days. i get all hyped up about changing things for myself, then fall back down into inertia. help.
you continue to rearrange furniture in an old room. move yourself into a whole new room, an entirely different room. the world is a very different place, in this now. be in the now world. and don't try to drag the old stuff in there with you :). no matter what situation you were in, you wouldn't be happy with things remaining the same. its inevitable that life changes, You are constantly changing - the human race is changing. don't try so hard to live from the old perspective - that does take energy. takes You, because You are the energy of yourself - you can flow your river of energy wherever you please. it seems so difficult flowing into the past because its out of alignment with who you are Now. the person that you have become through the living of your life, your explorations and experience.
you are still heavily invested in (flowing the energy that is you into) interactions with others, when your interactions with yourself could be your primary focus.
Monday, June 20, 2011
asking creates a vacuum
june 17, 2011
the knowing you are asking for is a response to action taken on your part towards a specific goal. clarity, yes, but clarity regarding a specific request or asking. knowledge, or rather a wider view on a specific subject flows towards the asking, and neutrally - the field opens towards the vacuum regardless of "who" is desiring to expand to incorporate it.
movement implies further movement; in the event of stagnation, expansion is not occuring. create the "place" through your asking, and the flowing into it will occur.
[so i take this to mean that i can't just sit around waiting for the secrets of the universe to be revealed. i gotta figure out what to ask :) ]
the knowing you are asking for is a response to action taken on your part towards a specific goal. clarity, yes, but clarity regarding a specific request or asking. knowledge, or rather a wider view on a specific subject flows towards the asking, and neutrally - the field opens towards the vacuum regardless of "who" is desiring to expand to incorporate it.
movement implies further movement; in the event of stagnation, expansion is not occuring. create the "place" through your asking, and the flowing into it will occur.
[so i take this to mean that i can't just sit around waiting for the secrets of the universe to be revealed. i gotta figure out what to ask :) ]
Sunday, May 29, 2011
stability, a perception
may 29, 2011
the perception of stability has served you, and now the perception of instability serves you, as you explore conditions of a downtrodden society up against new thought/new horizons. never does one situation remain the same, though you may perceive it as such while fine-focusing on it.
things have never really been stable, even as they have seemed so. from your present stance, you look upon your known/accepted history and think that there were long ages where things remained the same. but throughout this time there was the undercurrent of mass belief, like the undertow of a huge wave gathering energy and rumbling towards shore. now, in your current now, the wave is breaking upon the shore, in a gorgeous, glorious, spray of emotion, feeling and elation. the fluidity of belief and perception is only now becoming apparent. its a pristine moment in time, and no where is it fore-ordained. the randomness of where the individual droplets go in their frenzy of freedom is at the core of all life, forms the basis of existence and creation, remaking the moment, over and over again in an infinity of possibilities. no one knows what happens next, because there really is no "next". there is only the now, and the exaltant explorations of the rarefied consciousness that makes up the human race.
the perception of stability has served you, and now the perception of instability serves you, as you explore conditions of a downtrodden society up against new thought/new horizons. never does one situation remain the same, though you may perceive it as such while fine-focusing on it.
things have never really been stable, even as they have seemed so. from your present stance, you look upon your known/accepted history and think that there were long ages where things remained the same. but throughout this time there was the undercurrent of mass belief, like the undertow of a huge wave gathering energy and rumbling towards shore. now, in your current now, the wave is breaking upon the shore, in a gorgeous, glorious, spray of emotion, feeling and elation. the fluidity of belief and perception is only now becoming apparent. its a pristine moment in time, and no where is it fore-ordained. the randomness of where the individual droplets go in their frenzy of freedom is at the core of all life, forms the basis of existence and creation, remaking the moment, over and over again in an infinity of possibilities. no one knows what happens next, because there really is no "next". there is only the now, and the exaltant explorations of the rarefied consciousness that makes up the human race.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
cloud experience
from may 24th, 2011
(i'm rewriting this cloud thing because i just found the original piece of paper i'd written it down on the day after i saw it.)
went to fetch wrey from school. tired, cause i've got a cold and not sleeping well. so i was sitting back, resting in my car, waiting for her to come out. just peacefully watching the clouds. it was a rare nice day, warm (high 60's) and reasonably sunny. clear skies, blue for the most part, only i noticed they had sprayed chemtrails towards town - saw the X. but mostly blue skies over me and to the west, with puffy little white cloud shapes. i noticed the quality of the clouds was interesting, kinda unusual, lacey-looking, light and airy. lots of them branched out then folded back in on themselves to form perfect circles, sometimes 2 circles that looked like eyes, sometimes 3 in a triangle. i noticed that they were moving, changing shape, very very fast, almost like time-lapse photography. they seemed aLive! i was seeing cool shapes, like a couple of ufo's and a smiling alien face. lots of hearts, and animal and critter shapes. but the unusual thing was how Fast they were making these shapes as i was watching. amazingly fast, unreal-ly fast! by now, i was hanging my head out the car window, looking above my car and all around. the school kids walking by didn't seem to notice, no one was even looking up. the clouds themselves were staying pretty much stationary, not scooting across the sky as you'd expect to see with high winds aloft, high enough to cause them to change that fast. the movement seemed to originate within the cloud and go outwards in all directions. i kept watching till wrey came out. by the time i got home, chemtrail haze covered the whole sky, and the few clouds that were there were just normal; thick, rounded, and moved very slowly.
(i'm rewriting this cloud thing because i just found the original piece of paper i'd written it down on the day after i saw it.)
went to fetch wrey from school. tired, cause i've got a cold and not sleeping well. so i was sitting back, resting in my car, waiting for her to come out. just peacefully watching the clouds. it was a rare nice day, warm (high 60's) and reasonably sunny. clear skies, blue for the most part, only i noticed they had sprayed chemtrails towards town - saw the X. but mostly blue skies over me and to the west, with puffy little white cloud shapes. i noticed the quality of the clouds was interesting, kinda unusual, lacey-looking, light and airy. lots of them branched out then folded back in on themselves to form perfect circles, sometimes 2 circles that looked like eyes, sometimes 3 in a triangle. i noticed that they were moving, changing shape, very very fast, almost like time-lapse photography. they seemed aLive! i was seeing cool shapes, like a couple of ufo's and a smiling alien face. lots of hearts, and animal and critter shapes. but the unusual thing was how Fast they were making these shapes as i was watching. amazingly fast, unreal-ly fast! by now, i was hanging my head out the car window, looking above my car and all around. the school kids walking by didn't seem to notice, no one was even looking up. the clouds themselves were staying pretty much stationary, not scooting across the sky as you'd expect to see with high winds aloft, high enough to cause them to change that fast. the movement seemed to originate within the cloud and go outwards in all directions. i kept watching till wrey came out. by the time i got home, chemtrail haze covered the whole sky, and the few clouds that were there were just normal; thick, rounded, and moved very slowly.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
let it be easy
from february 14, 2010
the things that come the easiest are the things most meant to be. life is supposed to be easy. there is no built-in reason for struggle and difficulty.
creativity springs from inner sources that are no more hidden than the sun and sky.
trust, allowing yourself to just Be, as you are, who you are.
Be where your light shines brightest, and forget about all other considerations.
february 17, 2010
you didn't come from somewhere
you aren't going anywhere
all of you exists now
in all the when's and where's they ever will
you ARE, right now.
the things that come the easiest are the things most meant to be. life is supposed to be easy. there is no built-in reason for struggle and difficulty.
creativity springs from inner sources that are no more hidden than the sun and sky.
trust, allowing yourself to just Be, as you are, who you are.
Be where your light shines brightest, and forget about all other considerations.
february 17, 2010
you didn't come from somewhere
you aren't going anywhere
all of you exists now
in all the when's and where's they ever will
you ARE, right now.
whole self, physical focus
from february 6, 2010
the whole self that you are uses All experience, and does not judge any of it.
experience, BEing, feeds upon itself. Each choice, each action/physical action taken, spawns another and another and another.
its like the meanderings of an insect underneath the bark of a branch, forming beautiful, intricate little patterns, moving a bit in this direction and a bit in that. the movement creates the pattern.
it is not necessary that you consciously understand the behind-the-scenes workings of the whole self. indeed! then you would Be the whole self (as you Are, but you would be Operating as the whole self). there is purpose in looking just Here, being focused in physical reality, and a necessity for the "walling off" so to speak, of the entirety of the whole self. its like looking through a microscope, you know the rest of the world doesn't go away when your eyes and mind are focused on the slide, but the intense focus allows you to examine closely and experience the "event" going on under the microscope in a way that wouldn't be otherwise possible.
there is purpose in Everything. do not discount any of it. you may wish to look more closely at precisely the things that you tend to reject. its not that you must choose everything in one moment, but that there is smoother flow in the allowing of it as an equal choice.
it is like shaping the diamond, in real time, continuously. allowing it to morph from one beautiful crystalline structure into another, and another, for infinity. sometimes collapsing down and beginning again.
it is challenging for you to fine-tune your focus in physical reality - you are dispersed, easily and naturally- so the tight focus, maintained long enough to change/become/Be what you in one moment feel you wish to adhere to, becomes difficult when in the next moment, a different angle of your brilliance comes into view, but you are yet attempting to focus on the previous vision. holding one vision long enough for it to come to fruition is on the one hand frustrating for you, but on the other, immensely rewarding when it happens, as in when you passed your board exams, having endured two years of massage school and all the difficulties of studying for and passing the tests.
the whole self that you are uses All experience, and does not judge any of it.
experience, BEing, feeds upon itself. Each choice, each action/physical action taken, spawns another and another and another.
its like the meanderings of an insect underneath the bark of a branch, forming beautiful, intricate little patterns, moving a bit in this direction and a bit in that. the movement creates the pattern.
it is not necessary that you consciously understand the behind-the-scenes workings of the whole self. indeed! then you would Be the whole self (as you Are, but you would be Operating as the whole self). there is purpose in looking just Here, being focused in physical reality, and a necessity for the "walling off" so to speak, of the entirety of the whole self. its like looking through a microscope, you know the rest of the world doesn't go away when your eyes and mind are focused on the slide, but the intense focus allows you to examine closely and experience the "event" going on under the microscope in a way that wouldn't be otherwise possible.
there is purpose in Everything. do not discount any of it. you may wish to look more closely at precisely the things that you tend to reject. its not that you must choose everything in one moment, but that there is smoother flow in the allowing of it as an equal choice.
it is like shaping the diamond, in real time, continuously. allowing it to morph from one beautiful crystalline structure into another, and another, for infinity. sometimes collapsing down and beginning again.
it is challenging for you to fine-tune your focus in physical reality - you are dispersed, easily and naturally- so the tight focus, maintained long enough to change/become/Be what you in one moment feel you wish to adhere to, becomes difficult when in the next moment, a different angle of your brilliance comes into view, but you are yet attempting to focus on the previous vision. holding one vision long enough for it to come to fruition is on the one hand frustrating for you, but on the other, immensely rewarding when it happens, as in when you passed your board exams, having endured two years of massage school and all the difficulties of studying for and passing the tests.
Monday, May 9, 2011
begin
from january 21, 2010
begin anywhere. there is no beginning and of course, no end. to begin is simply to form an intent to move in a certain direction and take action on that intent via a physical movement. picking up a piece of paper and pen, walking outside, whatever. trusting that this thing is going to happen/come about. you already inherently trust, or you wouldn't wake up to a new dawn each day. and you always move, at least in the form of vibrating, even if you sit in one place all day long as if you are set on idle, engine running, experiencing more of the same, Being within (limiting yourself within) an energy pattern of acquired, yet unexamined beliefs...rather than moving into a consciously-chosen future, of intention.
begin anywhere. there is no beginning and of course, no end. to begin is simply to form an intent to move in a certain direction and take action on that intent via a physical movement. picking up a piece of paper and pen, walking outside, whatever. trusting that this thing is going to happen/come about. you already inherently trust, or you wouldn't wake up to a new dawn each day. and you always move, at least in the form of vibrating, even if you sit in one place all day long as if you are set on idle, engine running, experiencing more of the same, Being within (limiting yourself within) an energy pattern of acquired, yet unexamined beliefs...rather than moving into a consciously-chosen future, of intention.
subconscious ness
from january 18, 2010
remember that the subconscious is not something different than you, it is merely an organizational term used to define the way humans compartmentalize their experience. so this thinking that one must "discover" what is hidden in their subconscious is oftentimes an excuse to make it more difficult than it needs to be. its all right there, you don't need to "try" so hard to discover it. How do you feel? not so much Why do you feel such and such, thinking that there must be some hidden reason that must be discovered, but simply How do you feel, right now, in this moment. you can allow yourself to look as deep into the ever-changing waters of your consciousness as you dare. and like the ocean, nothing is really hidden, it just gets a little darker and murkier the further down you go. but its all right there. nothing is being withheld from you.
when you say repeatedly, "i feel like an invalid!" realize you are expressing an invalidation of your Self.
remember that the subconscious is not something different than you, it is merely an organizational term used to define the way humans compartmentalize their experience. so this thinking that one must "discover" what is hidden in their subconscious is oftentimes an excuse to make it more difficult than it needs to be. its all right there, you don't need to "try" so hard to discover it. How do you feel? not so much Why do you feel such and such, thinking that there must be some hidden reason that must be discovered, but simply How do you feel, right now, in this moment. you can allow yourself to look as deep into the ever-changing waters of your consciousness as you dare. and like the ocean, nothing is really hidden, it just gets a little darker and murkier the further down you go. but its all right there. nothing is being withheld from you.
when you say repeatedly, "i feel like an invalid!" realize you are expressing an invalidation of your Self.
your life is your creation
from january 4, 2010
take a moment, create a little space, stand back and marvel at your creations. suspend judgment, for one small moment, and notice upon the intricacies, the synchronicities, the coming together of events, people, places, the perfection of your life as the perfect physical reflection of your inner thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.
feel, in that little space of non-judgment, your power to create.
as you slip from this little space, back into your physical creation, feel the energy patterns already in place, that You have created, draw you in like a magnet. and then allow yourself to feel, if only fleetingly, the Choice that you always have, to remain in those energy patterns, the frameworks of habit that you yourself have created, or to choose to create a new pattern, to choose a different belief, to choose to act from a different perspective.
take a moment, create a little space, stand back and marvel at your creations. suspend judgment, for one small moment, and notice upon the intricacies, the synchronicities, the coming together of events, people, places, the perfection of your life as the perfect physical reflection of your inner thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.
feel, in that little space of non-judgment, your power to create.
as you slip from this little space, back into your physical creation, feel the energy patterns already in place, that You have created, draw you in like a magnet. and then allow yourself to feel, if only fleetingly, the Choice that you always have, to remain in those energy patterns, the frameworks of habit that you yourself have created, or to choose to create a new pattern, to choose a different belief, to choose to act from a different perspective.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
eyesight, its all in your head
the title of this post was said by wrey, and if i don't say that i will be in trouble with the aspie police.
driving wrey to school this morning, i was a ways up the road when i suddenly realized i wasn't wearing my glasses. this realization hit me not because i couldn't see, but because i swept my hand across my forehead to push my stocking cap (lovingly hand-knitted for me by me sis) up out of my eyes. a nano-second of "whoa, my face feels light, open, and unobstructed" and then it hit me, "oh shit, i'm out on the road driving, with my kid in the car, and i'm not wearing my freakin glasses!"
the thing is, i could see perfectly fine before i noticed that my glasses were not sittin on my face. then, Suddenly, i couldn't see a freakin thing! had to limp back home cautiously, hoping not to hit anything living, and retrieve them.
this is by far Not the first time this has happened. the first time was back in the late 90's, and i was shocked, confused, and awe-struck. it happened thusly: it was a sunny dew-laden early summer morning when i went out to the garden, thinking i had my contacts in, checking out the noisy birds flitting around in the tree branches, squirrels chasing down the fence, shapes of clouds gracing the sky, everything in sharp detail. for years, i had been wearing contacts, even to bed, taking them out momentarily every 2 weeks to change for a new pair. after some eye irritation and a visit to the eye doc resulting in a recommendation to let my cornea's breathe for a couple weeks free of the contacts, i had taken them out and left them out the night before. being so used to waking up with them in, i had slap forgot that they Weren't in that morning. so i'm hearing a woodpecker over by the creek, and scanning the trees to see if i can spot him, when it suddenly dawned on me that my eyeballs were bare. and Instantly, i can't see a damn thing!! so how come i could see so well just a second ago?? this was just one of those unexplainable things that there's no use talking about. if it didn't happen to you, its going to be explained away somehow by anyone hearing it.
it was a couple years before this happened again, but i wasn't as shocked the second time. then as the years went by, it was happening more and more often. i had stopped wearing contacts to bed, wore them irregularly, switched them out for glasses at random times, and finally quit wearing them altogether. add to this is the issue of aging and memory irregularities, the dropping of non-essential-to-the-moment facts into the 50-something cracks of senior-citizenship, and now i'm often not consciously aware of my eyesight-correction status. so it happens quite a lot, really.
now one would argue that the clarity of one's eyesight is determined by bio-mechanical aspects of eye physiology, such as eyeball shape, health of the cornea and various component parts of the wonderful little orbs that allow us to translate physical data into images in our brains. and this is true. but my experience shows me that there is something else that allows us to see on a broader spectrum, a background sense of cognition/comprehension that isn't necessarily physical. intuitively, i know that it is the same process that allows me to See with such superb clarity while astral-traveling, when my physical eyeballs are surely resting in their rightly place inside their physical sockets, with the curtains closed tight. it is what allows me to See images inside my brain while dreaming. it is when my attention/focus suddenly shifts from this "something else" back into my physical eyeballs that i suddenly cannot see.
so yeah, i do think eyesight is all in your head, not withstanding weirdly curved and malfunctioning eyeballs.
driving wrey to school this morning, i was a ways up the road when i suddenly realized i wasn't wearing my glasses. this realization hit me not because i couldn't see, but because i swept my hand across my forehead to push my stocking cap (lovingly hand-knitted for me by me sis) up out of my eyes. a nano-second of "whoa, my face feels light, open, and unobstructed" and then it hit me, "oh shit, i'm out on the road driving, with my kid in the car, and i'm not wearing my freakin glasses!"
the thing is, i could see perfectly fine before i noticed that my glasses were not sittin on my face. then, Suddenly, i couldn't see a freakin thing! had to limp back home cautiously, hoping not to hit anything living, and retrieve them.
this is by far Not the first time this has happened. the first time was back in the late 90's, and i was shocked, confused, and awe-struck. it happened thusly: it was a sunny dew-laden early summer morning when i went out to the garden, thinking i had my contacts in, checking out the noisy birds flitting around in the tree branches, squirrels chasing down the fence, shapes of clouds gracing the sky, everything in sharp detail. for years, i had been wearing contacts, even to bed, taking them out momentarily every 2 weeks to change for a new pair. after some eye irritation and a visit to the eye doc resulting in a recommendation to let my cornea's breathe for a couple weeks free of the contacts, i had taken them out and left them out the night before. being so used to waking up with them in, i had slap forgot that they Weren't in that morning. so i'm hearing a woodpecker over by the creek, and scanning the trees to see if i can spot him, when it suddenly dawned on me that my eyeballs were bare. and Instantly, i can't see a damn thing!! so how come i could see so well just a second ago?? this was just one of those unexplainable things that there's no use talking about. if it didn't happen to you, its going to be explained away somehow by anyone hearing it.
it was a couple years before this happened again, but i wasn't as shocked the second time. then as the years went by, it was happening more and more often. i had stopped wearing contacts to bed, wore them irregularly, switched them out for glasses at random times, and finally quit wearing them altogether. add to this is the issue of aging and memory irregularities, the dropping of non-essential-to-the-moment facts into the 50-something cracks of senior-citizenship, and now i'm often not consciously aware of my eyesight-correction status. so it happens quite a lot, really.
now one would argue that the clarity of one's eyesight is determined by bio-mechanical aspects of eye physiology, such as eyeball shape, health of the cornea and various component parts of the wonderful little orbs that allow us to translate physical data into images in our brains. and this is true. but my experience shows me that there is something else that allows us to see on a broader spectrum, a background sense of cognition/comprehension that isn't necessarily physical. intuitively, i know that it is the same process that allows me to See with such superb clarity while astral-traveling, when my physical eyeballs are surely resting in their rightly place inside their physical sockets, with the curtains closed tight. it is what allows me to See images inside my brain while dreaming. it is when my attention/focus suddenly shifts from this "something else" back into my physical eyeballs that i suddenly cannot see.
so yeah, i do think eyesight is all in your head, not withstanding weirdly curved and malfunctioning eyeballs.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
the smell of spring, OH yeah!!
today, for the first time this year, i smelled spring. a certain Unmistakable smell that gets in the oregon air only in the springtime. must come from some prolific native foliage (i’ve never figured out just what), a thick sweet yellow smell.
most years i live in anticipation of it, sometimes for weeks before actually smelling it, but this year i hadn’t even thought of it yet. the air is still so cold from the long dreary winter, no leaves on the trees, and the daffodils have just begun declaring themselves (which usually happens in february). so when i caught a whiff of it in the air today while getting in my car, it was doubly sweet for taking me by complete surprise.
sometimes, a moment will instantly connect me up to other like moments, forming a chain of associations strung together by something other than linear time. this happened today when that first hint of “the smell” seeped into my lungs. images came flooding into my mind, memories of many other years of “first time i smelled spring” moments. once in the parking lot of the incredible universe store, once in front of the apartments glen and i lived in when sherrie was a little girl, once when hiking along eagle creek in the mud, once when walking to the store.
smelling “the smell” has been of big psychological import to my warmth-starved transplanted-alabamian psyche for all the years i’ve lived in oregon. in my birthplace, winter just flows into spring effortlessly. well, punctuated by a few electrical storms and blown transformers, but it comes early and predictably. there isn’t the Longing for spring that i experience here, with winter dragging on and on, people forgetting what the sun actually looks like, umbrellas actually wearing out from use. so when i smell the smell, i’m reassured that yes we Will have a Spring afterall. sweet.
most years i live in anticipation of it, sometimes for weeks before actually smelling it, but this year i hadn’t even thought of it yet. the air is still so cold from the long dreary winter, no leaves on the trees, and the daffodils have just begun declaring themselves (which usually happens in february). so when i caught a whiff of it in the air today while getting in my car, it was doubly sweet for taking me by complete surprise.
sometimes, a moment will instantly connect me up to other like moments, forming a chain of associations strung together by something other than linear time. this happened today when that first hint of “the smell” seeped into my lungs. images came flooding into my mind, memories of many other years of “first time i smelled spring” moments. once in the parking lot of the incredible universe store, once in front of the apartments glen and i lived in when sherrie was a little girl, once when hiking along eagle creek in the mud, once when walking to the store.
smelling “the smell” has been of big psychological import to my warmth-starved transplanted-alabamian psyche for all the years i’ve lived in oregon. in my birthplace, winter just flows into spring effortlessly. well, punctuated by a few electrical storms and blown transformers, but it comes early and predictably. there isn’t the Longing for spring that i experience here, with winter dragging on and on, people forgetting what the sun actually looks like, umbrellas actually wearing out from use. so when i smell the smell, i’m reassured that yes we Will have a Spring afterall. sweet.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
film negatives and unplayed keys
i was thinking of how i’m defined as much by what i don’t do well as by what i do. this occurred to me as i was painting a futuristic distant planet scene on a table. i’m always saying i can’t draw, cause it comes so hard. i have to fuss over it and erase and re-do. but i’m very good at imagining abstract scenes and things in my mind and painting them. i’m bad at perspective, but very good at filling in the blanks with random bits of brushstrokes that are “suggestive” of something; forming shapes that leave interpretation open to the viewer, taking them where it takes them.
i’ve come to see my lack of artistic ability coupled with an insatiable desire to do artistic things, as a way to force expansion of the traits i do possess but haven’t integrated. strong points within me are my infinite (literally never-ending) imagination, wide-open view of the universe, and an intuitive sense of the “origin of materiality”. when a group of us sits down to draw, making cards or whatever, someone will invariably say... i don’t know what to draw. i Never have that problem! there are always tons of ideas circling around at the ready, and its more of a sticking point for me to choose just one of them. but i envy the ability my girls have to get concepts down so well on paper. they are gifted, each in their own way, all four of them, with drawing/artistic ability that far exceeds anything i could even dream of doing, in this lifetime anyway.
like on the piano, the keys you don’t play are the “negative” of the ones you do play, framing and supporting the chosen ones. objects, music, drawing, even ideas, have their existence by what they aren’t as much as by what they are.
i’m thinking of ascii code, how there are 8 bits (well, eight main ones framed by the parity and othersuch bits at beginning and end). they are the same bits, but either turned off or turned on, either chosen or not chosen to form the little piece of data (number letter symbol).
when i think in these terms, i don’t feel so bad about my lack of ability in particular areas, cause i know that overall, i contain it all. and the places where i’m turned off, are what so eloquently allows, and highlights, the places where i’m turned on.
i’ve come to see my lack of artistic ability coupled with an insatiable desire to do artistic things, as a way to force expansion of the traits i do possess but haven’t integrated. strong points within me are my infinite (literally never-ending) imagination, wide-open view of the universe, and an intuitive sense of the “origin of materiality”. when a group of us sits down to draw, making cards or whatever, someone will invariably say... i don’t know what to draw. i Never have that problem! there are always tons of ideas circling around at the ready, and its more of a sticking point for me to choose just one of them. but i envy the ability my girls have to get concepts down so well on paper. they are gifted, each in their own way, all four of them, with drawing/artistic ability that far exceeds anything i could even dream of doing, in this lifetime anyway.
like on the piano, the keys you don’t play are the “negative” of the ones you do play, framing and supporting the chosen ones. objects, music, drawing, even ideas, have their existence by what they aren’t as much as by what they are.
i’m thinking of ascii code, how there are 8 bits (well, eight main ones framed by the parity and othersuch bits at beginning and end). they are the same bits, but either turned off or turned on, either chosen or not chosen to form the little piece of data (number letter symbol).
when i think in these terms, i don’t feel so bad about my lack of ability in particular areas, cause i know that overall, i contain it all. and the places where i’m turned off, are what so eloquently allows, and highlights, the places where i’m turned on.
Monday, March 28, 2011
generosity of spirit
(journal entry from july 19th, 2010)
sometimes, someone will surprise me by showing me acceptance and love, even when they by all rights have reason to be offended, or to not communicate with me at all. i’ve had an intense year (though it seems i say that every year, just about). there have been more times than i’m comfortable thinking about where i haven’t shown up for another person. when i’ve dropped the ball, or even said or did possibly offensive things. there have been times when i just couldn’t give; i had nothing at the moment to give, or that felt worthy of giving. even written words to answer someone’s email, cause i would have had to arrange the words in a way that made some kind of sense and didn’t betray the insanity i was feeling inside. so i said or wrote nothing. i’ve snapped out of it long enough to start a thread on one of the online lists, then fell back into my hole and dropped outta sight again, leaving comments unanswered. many times in the past several months, i didn’t answer calls from friends. sometimes i went to get my phone when i heard it ringing, but just couldn’t bring myself to answer and say hello. when things happen faster than i can absorb them, make some kind of rational sense of them, i get too full. i get afraid that if the dam of brain cells holding it all in control gets breached, it would all come rushing out in a jumbled mess.
its no wonder people react to that by withdrawing, by washing their hands of that crazy woman judyette. sometimes that even seems like a relief to me, when i get in certain moods, when i’m alone and quiet and want to preserve that state at all costs. but sometimes, someone comes along who doesn’t judge me, who trusts that part of me that is good and worthy. who doesn’t give silence for silence, but lets me know right away, right away! that all is ok, i am loved, i can give when i can, and stay silent when i must, and they will always be there. i hold those times and those people close in my heart, they are sweet and unexpected like finding honey in the woods. they open my heart to understanding of someone’s else’s overwhelm.
funny how just one person’s acceptance of me, of where i’m at in my evolution as a human being, can evaporate a whole layer of issues, and let me see the next thing that lies beneath. it happens almost spontaneously, to be understood is to understand. i am so grateful for those who don’t give up on me, who hold my being as something of value, even in those times when i’m all holed up in my confusion, in my darkness, in my overwhelm.
sometimes, someone will surprise me by showing me acceptance and love, even when they by all rights have reason to be offended, or to not communicate with me at all. i’ve had an intense year (though it seems i say that every year, just about). there have been more times than i’m comfortable thinking about where i haven’t shown up for another person. when i’ve dropped the ball, or even said or did possibly offensive things. there have been times when i just couldn’t give; i had nothing at the moment to give, or that felt worthy of giving. even written words to answer someone’s email, cause i would have had to arrange the words in a way that made some kind of sense and didn’t betray the insanity i was feeling inside. so i said or wrote nothing. i’ve snapped out of it long enough to start a thread on one of the online lists, then fell back into my hole and dropped outta sight again, leaving comments unanswered. many times in the past several months, i didn’t answer calls from friends. sometimes i went to get my phone when i heard it ringing, but just couldn’t bring myself to answer and say hello. when things happen faster than i can absorb them, make some kind of rational sense of them, i get too full. i get afraid that if the dam of brain cells holding it all in control gets breached, it would all come rushing out in a jumbled mess.
its no wonder people react to that by withdrawing, by washing their hands of that crazy woman judyette. sometimes that even seems like a relief to me, when i get in certain moods, when i’m alone and quiet and want to preserve that state at all costs. but sometimes, someone comes along who doesn’t judge me, who trusts that part of me that is good and worthy. who doesn’t give silence for silence, but lets me know right away, right away! that all is ok, i am loved, i can give when i can, and stay silent when i must, and they will always be there. i hold those times and those people close in my heart, they are sweet and unexpected like finding honey in the woods. they open my heart to understanding of someone’s else’s overwhelm.
funny how just one person’s acceptance of me, of where i’m at in my evolution as a human being, can evaporate a whole layer of issues, and let me see the next thing that lies beneath. it happens almost spontaneously, to be understood is to understand. i am so grateful for those who don’t give up on me, who hold my being as something of value, even in those times when i’m all holed up in my confusion, in my darkness, in my overwhelm.
musing about energy and creation
(journal entry for march 31st, 2010)
presupposing that all matter is energy, and all energy is conscious. all matter therefore being consciousness expressing itself as an idea outside of itself, at once creating and perceiving.
from a perspective further out on the “fringes” (slower frequencies, away from center), energy is perceived as matter.
energy/consciousness, groups itself together into more and more complex gestalts of activity/expression. this being representative of the “in-breath”. stability. evidenced/mirrored in the organization of “things”; of the human body, with its atoms into cells into organs into bodily systems performing specific functions. specialization, organization. ego.
triangular shape being representative of the most basic, most stable expression of energy; representing the polarities (negative/positive) plus the polarities combined into singularity. (thus the three points of the triangle). perhaps they are moving too fast for scientists to perceive, but if they are to find the smallest particles perceivable from our standpoint, they would have to be triangular.
the same consciousness/energy appears in different forms according to the dimension it seeks and finds expression within. light and sound coalescing into matter (being perceived as matter), from our perspective.
energy/consciousness flows thru patterns of form (matter) created by psychic intent. such patterns constantly change with the propensity of consciousness to move into form/stability, away from chaos, then dissolve back out into chaos (opportunity to regroup and experience new forms/patterns). THIS CREATES AN EXQUISITE IMBALANCE THAT DEFINES CREATION ITSELF.
energy “arrives” into form (psychic framework/idea), fully fills, and withdraws, creating the perception of time. the further away from center/point of origin of idea, the slower the process, the longer it “seems” to hold form (ie: rocks eons old). “before” images = clairvoyance, “after” images = memory.
higher up the spiral (faster frequency), events can be perceived in their entirety, although at ground level they are still happening. seems contradictory but its not. also, this does not equate to predestination, a point i pondered for literally years. each moment is a universe unto itself. creation extends outward in all directions/all dimensions.
on human level:
ego/personality = stability
dispersion of personality at “death” = chaos, allowing re-formation (new incarnations), new experience, new creation
larger galactic level:
“out-breath”, chaos, dispersion of consciousness into infinitely small “bits”.
“in-breath”: the gathering up of the bits into increasingly complex gestalts.
white hole/black hole, or as nassim puts it: white whole/black whole. i can see why he puts it that way.
it seems to me that this dynamic is present in everything. on the human level as the move towards ego/stability/marriage/groups/co-herence, then a restlessness, a desire to break out and create anew. its the constant give and take between settling in and breaking out that drives creation. form and non-form. stability and chaos. positive/negative, attraction/repulsion.
when i was a kid, we built forts with the neighbor kids. one of the boys had a motto: tear it down and build it better. soon as we’d finish building one, he’d have a new idea and want to use the boards to make it. it was his grand-dad who gave us most of the boards, so we kinda had to go along with him. we never got to enjoy the one we’d just built! at least have a picnic in it or something before dismantling it :) but i played with him alot anyways, cause it was so much fun designing new stuff.
positive and negative polarities, and the integration of them, all one thing. on a human level, what we are doing is realizing/internalizing that positive contains negative, and vice versa negative contains positive, so to integrate, we have to accept that both are part of and equal to the whole. by definition, the whole contains it all. embracing both creates balance, and stability, which would make sense as the way i see it, on a vastly larger scale, we are within the in-breath part of creation, coming back together.
and oh, the on/off, zero/one thing. the triangular shaped particles bouncing between negative and positive polarities, creating matter/anti-matter. “here” as long as they are “gone”.
jeez, when i get to thinking about this, what a PERFECT system it is!! creation IS the engine that drives it, assured to keep itself going for infinity. the inherent imbalance and striving towards balance, creating new movement (experiences) forever. expanding outward and inward at once.
presupposing that all matter is energy, and all energy is conscious. all matter therefore being consciousness expressing itself as an idea outside of itself, at once creating and perceiving.
from a perspective further out on the “fringes” (slower frequencies, away from center), energy is perceived as matter.
energy/consciousness, groups itself together into more and more complex gestalts of activity/expression. this being representative of the “in-breath”. stability. evidenced/mirrored in the organization of “things”; of the human body, with its atoms into cells into organs into bodily systems performing specific functions. specialization, organization. ego.
triangular shape being representative of the most basic, most stable expression of energy; representing the polarities (negative/positive) plus the polarities combined into singularity. (thus the three points of the triangle). perhaps they are moving too fast for scientists to perceive, but if they are to find the smallest particles perceivable from our standpoint, they would have to be triangular.
the same consciousness/energy appears in different forms according to the dimension it seeks and finds expression within. light and sound coalescing into matter (being perceived as matter), from our perspective.
energy/consciousness flows thru patterns of form (matter) created by psychic intent. such patterns constantly change with the propensity of consciousness to move into form/stability, away from chaos, then dissolve back out into chaos (opportunity to regroup and experience new forms/patterns). THIS CREATES AN EXQUISITE IMBALANCE THAT DEFINES CREATION ITSELF.
energy “arrives” into form (psychic framework/idea), fully fills, and withdraws, creating the perception of time. the further away from center/point of origin of idea, the slower the process, the longer it “seems” to hold form (ie: rocks eons old). “before” images = clairvoyance, “after” images = memory.
higher up the spiral (faster frequency), events can be perceived in their entirety, although at ground level they are still happening. seems contradictory but its not. also, this does not equate to predestination, a point i pondered for literally years. each moment is a universe unto itself. creation extends outward in all directions/all dimensions.
on human level:
ego/personality = stability
dispersion of personality at “death” = chaos, allowing re-formation (new incarnations), new experience, new creation
larger galactic level:
“out-breath”, chaos, dispersion of consciousness into infinitely small “bits”.
“in-breath”: the gathering up of the bits into increasingly complex gestalts.
white hole/black hole, or as nassim puts it: white whole/black whole. i can see why he puts it that way.
it seems to me that this dynamic is present in everything. on the human level as the move towards ego/stability/marriage/groups/co-herence, then a restlessness, a desire to break out and create anew. its the constant give and take between settling in and breaking out that drives creation. form and non-form. stability and chaos. positive/negative, attraction/repulsion.
when i was a kid, we built forts with the neighbor kids. one of the boys had a motto: tear it down and build it better. soon as we’d finish building one, he’d have a new idea and want to use the boards to make it. it was his grand-dad who gave us most of the boards, so we kinda had to go along with him. we never got to enjoy the one we’d just built! at least have a picnic in it or something before dismantling it :) but i played with him alot anyways, cause it was so much fun designing new stuff.
positive and negative polarities, and the integration of them, all one thing. on a human level, what we are doing is realizing/internalizing that positive contains negative, and vice versa negative contains positive, so to integrate, we have to accept that both are part of and equal to the whole. by definition, the whole contains it all. embracing both creates balance, and stability, which would make sense as the way i see it, on a vastly larger scale, we are within the in-breath part of creation, coming back together.
and oh, the on/off, zero/one thing. the triangular shaped particles bouncing between negative and positive polarities, creating matter/anti-matter. “here” as long as they are “gone”.
jeez, when i get to thinking about this, what a PERFECT system it is!! creation IS the engine that drives it, assured to keep itself going for infinity. the inherent imbalance and striving towards balance, creating new movement (experiences) forever. expanding outward and inward at once.
something gentle and magical was on my side
(journal entry from march 24th, 2010)
i was outside on the front of the house, sitting on the green swinging bench, at lunchtime. today was beautiful and warm, supposed to be 70 degrees, only made it to 66 as far as i could tell, but that was warm enough! the sky was clear and blue and it seemed very summer-like, with only a slight breeze. i was sitting there warm and relaxed, casually looking around at the yard, trees, cats, sky. i saw a bird circling around without moving its wings, looked like it was riding some invisible air wave. it wasn’t like any bird commonly seen around here. the closest thing it looked like was maybe a dove, but smallish and compact. its wings were very rounded. it immediately seemed different or special, but i can’t explain that. this first time, i only saw it for several seconds, then it flew up over the roof-line and i lost sight of it. i telepathically asked it to come back so i could watch it some more. kept looking for a minute or two, but didn’t see it again, so i figured that was that, and looked away.
so a few minutes later, i’m still sitting there rocking and enjoying the warmth, and i look up towards the sun, and there in the fuzzy glow too close to the sun to really look at, i see the bird again, banking sideways with its wings glittering in the sunlight. i could barely make it out as it was so close to the sun’s bright light. i knew it was the same bird, come back. as it moved away from the sun’s intensity, i watched it fly around, swoop and glide. it seemed to be putting on a show, for me. looking at it so intensely, i was noticing that i was seeing two birds, and thought it was just my eyesight, that i was seeing double. it kept being double, looking like two distinct birds, and i’m looking around (at tree branches it flew near, etc., not wanting to look too far away and lose sight of it) to see if i’m seeing anything else double, but no i wasn’t. then almost as if to speak to my puzzlement, one of the two birds i was seeing broke stride and flew away a little bit, out at an angle. there WERE two birds!! but they were flying in such synchrony, so perfectly mirroring each other’s movements that i was convinced i was seeing one bird. i never saw a second bird join the first one. it would have had to fly in from the side somewhere, but i was watching the whole time, and i never saw a second bird join.
then even stranger, the birds merged into one bird, then back again into two birds, right before my eyes!! by this time, i am standing up out in the driveway looking intensely skyward. the bird/birds went in and out of visibility, several times. gliding around on the breeze, with wings outstretched. then i saw a third bird! from nowhere, all of a sudden there are three of them!! playing, swooping, gliding, three distinct birds. as i was watching, they went in and out of physicality several times. three, then two, then finally just the one. as it flew around, in and out, i thought surely the sun must be reflecting light off its wing as it turns, and that is making it seem to disappear, but no, that wasn’t it. i saw it fly straight ahead, disappear, and then reappear in the same place. i looked and looked, not wanting to take my eyes off it. then finally, it disappeared for good and didn’t come back.
being all fired up about the nice spring day, wanting to be outside and work in the yard, i didn’t come in and write this down. i thought about doing that, and would have under most any other circumstances. but i was so hungry for the sun, to be outside, i just couldn’t bring myself to come in till after dark. i thought about it all afternoon though. my mind wanted to figure it out, how could it be?? it must have been some kind of optical illusion. why is it so hard to accept magical things? why must our intellect get so scandalized, and insist upon quantifying it immediately?? my heart wanted to just leave it alone. perhaps not even tell anyone. it would be easy for someone else, who hadn’t been there and seen this, to pass it off as seeing things because i was looking near the sun. but i know what i saw, and what i felt!! in my heart, i know i was being communicated with, connected with, and perhaps that is the most accurate way to say it, cause that’s how it made me feel.... that something gentle and magical was on my side.
i was outside on the front of the house, sitting on the green swinging bench, at lunchtime. today was beautiful and warm, supposed to be 70 degrees, only made it to 66 as far as i could tell, but that was warm enough! the sky was clear and blue and it seemed very summer-like, with only a slight breeze. i was sitting there warm and relaxed, casually looking around at the yard, trees, cats, sky. i saw a bird circling around without moving its wings, looked like it was riding some invisible air wave. it wasn’t like any bird commonly seen around here. the closest thing it looked like was maybe a dove, but smallish and compact. its wings were very rounded. it immediately seemed different or special, but i can’t explain that. this first time, i only saw it for several seconds, then it flew up over the roof-line and i lost sight of it. i telepathically asked it to come back so i could watch it some more. kept looking for a minute or two, but didn’t see it again, so i figured that was that, and looked away.
so a few minutes later, i’m still sitting there rocking and enjoying the warmth, and i look up towards the sun, and there in the fuzzy glow too close to the sun to really look at, i see the bird again, banking sideways with its wings glittering in the sunlight. i could barely make it out as it was so close to the sun’s bright light. i knew it was the same bird, come back. as it moved away from the sun’s intensity, i watched it fly around, swoop and glide. it seemed to be putting on a show, for me. looking at it so intensely, i was noticing that i was seeing two birds, and thought it was just my eyesight, that i was seeing double. it kept being double, looking like two distinct birds, and i’m looking around (at tree branches it flew near, etc., not wanting to look too far away and lose sight of it) to see if i’m seeing anything else double, but no i wasn’t. then almost as if to speak to my puzzlement, one of the two birds i was seeing broke stride and flew away a little bit, out at an angle. there WERE two birds!! but they were flying in such synchrony, so perfectly mirroring each other’s movements that i was convinced i was seeing one bird. i never saw a second bird join the first one. it would have had to fly in from the side somewhere, but i was watching the whole time, and i never saw a second bird join.
then even stranger, the birds merged into one bird, then back again into two birds, right before my eyes!! by this time, i am standing up out in the driveway looking intensely skyward. the bird/birds went in and out of visibility, several times. gliding around on the breeze, with wings outstretched. then i saw a third bird! from nowhere, all of a sudden there are three of them!! playing, swooping, gliding, three distinct birds. as i was watching, they went in and out of physicality several times. three, then two, then finally just the one. as it flew around, in and out, i thought surely the sun must be reflecting light off its wing as it turns, and that is making it seem to disappear, but no, that wasn’t it. i saw it fly straight ahead, disappear, and then reappear in the same place. i looked and looked, not wanting to take my eyes off it. then finally, it disappeared for good and didn’t come back.
being all fired up about the nice spring day, wanting to be outside and work in the yard, i didn’t come in and write this down. i thought about doing that, and would have under most any other circumstances. but i was so hungry for the sun, to be outside, i just couldn’t bring myself to come in till after dark. i thought about it all afternoon though. my mind wanted to figure it out, how could it be?? it must have been some kind of optical illusion. why is it so hard to accept magical things? why must our intellect get so scandalized, and insist upon quantifying it immediately?? my heart wanted to just leave it alone. perhaps not even tell anyone. it would be easy for someone else, who hadn’t been there and seen this, to pass it off as seeing things because i was looking near the sun. but i know what i saw, and what i felt!! in my heart, i know i was being communicated with, connected with, and perhaps that is the most accurate way to say it, cause that’s how it made me feel.... that something gentle and magical was on my side.
energy
(from may 21st, 2010)
you are surrounded by electricity. think about lightening, which carries on continually, whether or not you are aware of it. you live in an electrical universe, you ARE electric energy, each individual operating on a different frequency within the human range. the issue is becoming aware and learning to direct the energy that is all around you in more benevolent ways.
your earth is surrounded by an electromagnetic energy field/grid, which in a larger sense is an expression of the mass consciousness of the human race and it’s counterpart, the earth planet where you have your existence. you will automatically tap into this part of yourselves when you realize the intimate relationship you have with it.
your heart answers an electrical impulse every time it contracts to push blood through your physical body, giving you experience on the physical plane.
as long as you choose to war, hate, divide - your eyes will not see, your hearts will not know.
you exist within a self-imposed egoic framework, all too willing to abide by rules and laws set up to limit your vision. as you become ready to burst forth from that framework, you will. nothing is holding you there except ideas/beliefs you have accepted as truths. you are free to change your mind.
as free will creatures, you are free to direct your energy in any way you wish, including killing each other and abusing your planet. there is no lack of energy, its just that you have been using it in ways that have afforded you certain experiences. when you are ready for other, more integrative experiences, you will change your focus.
as each individual is a UNIverse unto himself, change begins within each person. physics will take care of the rest, as like-minded individuals automatically gravitate to each other, and coalesce into groups. it is important to take action on your new choices. it isn’t a matter of changing what already is (that is just focusing more of your energy there). it is creating something new.
create new systems, and the old ones will crumble.
don’t be so willing to play the old game of the masses, make up a new game. use your i-magi-nation. in time, the new game will be the game of the masses.
you are surrounded by electricity. think about lightening, which carries on continually, whether or not you are aware of it. you live in an electrical universe, you ARE electric energy, each individual operating on a different frequency within the human range. the issue is becoming aware and learning to direct the energy that is all around you in more benevolent ways.
your earth is surrounded by an electromagnetic energy field/grid, which in a larger sense is an expression of the mass consciousness of the human race and it’s counterpart, the earth planet where you have your existence. you will automatically tap into this part of yourselves when you realize the intimate relationship you have with it.
your heart answers an electrical impulse every time it contracts to push blood through your physical body, giving you experience on the physical plane.
as long as you choose to war, hate, divide - your eyes will not see, your hearts will not know.
you exist within a self-imposed egoic framework, all too willing to abide by rules and laws set up to limit your vision. as you become ready to burst forth from that framework, you will. nothing is holding you there except ideas/beliefs you have accepted as truths. you are free to change your mind.
as free will creatures, you are free to direct your energy in any way you wish, including killing each other and abusing your planet. there is no lack of energy, its just that you have been using it in ways that have afforded you certain experiences. when you are ready for other, more integrative experiences, you will change your focus.
as each individual is a UNIverse unto himself, change begins within each person. physics will take care of the rest, as like-minded individuals automatically gravitate to each other, and coalesce into groups. it is important to take action on your new choices. it isn’t a matter of changing what already is (that is just focusing more of your energy there). it is creating something new.
create new systems, and the old ones will crumble.
don’t be so willing to play the old game of the masses, make up a new game. use your i-magi-nation. in time, the new game will be the game of the masses.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
radiation effects on the body
march 22, 2011
when you decide, from other levels, on a "life on earth", you agree to certain mass beliefs in order to maintain the game. these mass beliefs (root assumptions) are a pretty strong hold, and for a reason, to assure your continued role in the adventures of earth.
consciousness arranges itself in gestalts, building blocks that voluntarily come together to experience various levels of Be-ing. units of consciousness form your overall "body consciousness" upon which your consciousness cooperatively rides, for the relatively brief period you in-Habit it. these atoms, molecules, cells have their own existence, and exist on a physical level within a framework in which the frequency of radiation is harmful, for radiation is a particle state of extremely high frequency. in the same way as your hand would be severed should you thrust it into a fan moving at high speed, exposure of lower frequency particles to high frequency particles disrupts their frequency pattern. the same way as a human exposed to higher extraterrestrial frequencies would be shocked and disoriented. (**this accounts for why they interact with us in astral states, when we are not as tightly focused in the lower frequencies of physical reality; we are easier to manipulate).
the units of consciousness forming the molecular structure of your body have existence within all levels/dimensions of activity, just as you do. as the body consciousness takes direction from You, it is possible to "shift everything at once" sts, into a state of being where the relationship with the hyper-spinning particles of radiation will be a harmonious one, instead of harmful.
if one is sufficiently skilled at manipulating their consciousness to play upon a range of frequencies at will, they can essentially take themselves out of harms way by perceiving themselves relating to the radiation differently. but this is rare while earthbound. while you are shifting into an existence in which most of you will have the ability to do this, the masses of you at this time, do not. if you did, that would negate the whole "game", in which you are experiencing the consequences of certain behaviors and deciding for yourselves if you wish to continue that behavior, or not.
in other levels very close to your daily waking consciousness, you are intimately aware of what the immediate future holds, and choose whether or not you prefer to be in range of potentially harmful circumstances, and may well choose this according to your own reasons.
when you decide, from other levels, on a "life on earth", you agree to certain mass beliefs in order to maintain the game. these mass beliefs (root assumptions) are a pretty strong hold, and for a reason, to assure your continued role in the adventures of earth.
consciousness arranges itself in gestalts, building blocks that voluntarily come together to experience various levels of Be-ing. units of consciousness form your overall "body consciousness" upon which your consciousness cooperatively rides, for the relatively brief period you in-Habit it. these atoms, molecules, cells have their own existence, and exist on a physical level within a framework in which the frequency of radiation is harmful, for radiation is a particle state of extremely high frequency. in the same way as your hand would be severed should you thrust it into a fan moving at high speed, exposure of lower frequency particles to high frequency particles disrupts their frequency pattern. the same way as a human exposed to higher extraterrestrial frequencies would be shocked and disoriented. (**this accounts for why they interact with us in astral states, when we are not as tightly focused in the lower frequencies of physical reality; we are easier to manipulate).
the units of consciousness forming the molecular structure of your body have existence within all levels/dimensions of activity, just as you do. as the body consciousness takes direction from You, it is possible to "shift everything at once" sts, into a state of being where the relationship with the hyper-spinning particles of radiation will be a harmonious one, instead of harmful.
if one is sufficiently skilled at manipulating their consciousness to play upon a range of frequencies at will, they can essentially take themselves out of harms way by perceiving themselves relating to the radiation differently. but this is rare while earthbound. while you are shifting into an existence in which most of you will have the ability to do this, the masses of you at this time, do not. if you did, that would negate the whole "game", in which you are experiencing the consequences of certain behaviors and deciding for yourselves if you wish to continue that behavior, or not.
in other levels very close to your daily waking consciousness, you are intimately aware of what the immediate future holds, and choose whether or not you prefer to be in range of potentially harmful circumstances, and may well choose this according to your own reasons.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
environments
from january 14, 2011
everything you experience takes you somewhere. everything you view, you hear, you read, unfolds potential in your mind, as in electrical potential, a wave of energy directed along a certain "path" - or more complexly, a movement towards a similar frequency. always towards - energy having the propensity to form groupings, poolings. so be wary (aware) of what you surround yourself with in your environment, as merely gazing upon a thing draws you into it in a certain manner, even if you are not consciously aware this is occurring.
clutter can scatter your energy in various directions. simplicity allows a more directed flow, as more of your energy - you - is at your command on a conscious aware level. similarly, noise can scatter your energy, as can all the other senses. you can consciously set up your surroundings to take you on pleasant journeys, exciting journeys, or unconsciously set yourself up for chaotic experiences.
everything you experience takes you somewhere. everything you view, you hear, you read, unfolds potential in your mind, as in electrical potential, a wave of energy directed along a certain "path" - or more complexly, a movement towards a similar frequency. always towards - energy having the propensity to form groupings, poolings. so be wary (aware) of what you surround yourself with in your environment, as merely gazing upon a thing draws you into it in a certain manner, even if you are not consciously aware this is occurring.
clutter can scatter your energy in various directions. simplicity allows a more directed flow, as more of your energy - you - is at your command on a conscious aware level. similarly, noise can scatter your energy, as can all the other senses. you can consciously set up your surroundings to take you on pleasant journeys, exciting journeys, or unconsciously set yourself up for chaotic experiences.
stepping stones
to getting to where you want to be.
from january 18th, 2011
stepping stones. it isn't because you Have to (as in being ordered so by someone or something Above) take small steps forward, or backward or sideways or wherever you want to go. its more that the distance to be bridged is an electrical factor, a frequency difference, and the length of your stride has more to do with flexibility of consciousness, and your readiness to allow.
energy pools (pools is verb), frequencies "reside" in proximity, so that when you're "in the neighborhood" so to speak, you can "see" other like attributes of that particular space/place/state of being. otherwise, you can't see them. or if you see them from afar, they seem distant and unattainable. when you're close, they seem easy and attainable. so take the easy steps, the small steps that are in front of your feet now, and they will eventually lead you to the neighborhood you want. easy to easy to easy, skipping along happily, with more and more of "you" coming into view - the whole of you. the expanded version of you is touched through ease and joy, Not suffering and sacrifice.
from january 18th, 2011
stepping stones. it isn't because you Have to (as in being ordered so by someone or something Above) take small steps forward, or backward or sideways or wherever you want to go. its more that the distance to be bridged is an electrical factor, a frequency difference, and the length of your stride has more to do with flexibility of consciousness, and your readiness to allow.
energy pools (pools is verb), frequencies "reside" in proximity, so that when you're "in the neighborhood" so to speak, you can "see" other like attributes of that particular space/place/state of being. otherwise, you can't see them. or if you see them from afar, they seem distant and unattainable. when you're close, they seem easy and attainable. so take the easy steps, the small steps that are in front of your feet now, and they will eventually lead you to the neighborhood you want. easy to easy to easy, skipping along happily, with more and more of "you" coming into view - the whole of you. the expanded version of you is touched through ease and joy, Not suffering and sacrifice.
i have a question for them
from january 11, 2011
do people (entities/personalities) always choose evil/negativity from a place of fear? can evil ever be chosen from a place of empowerment? (i asked this question after reading the law of one/ra material. it bothered me that they, ra, seemed to be saying that you had to be wary because in some systems, higher level beings were operating with negative intent, ie: to subjugate and control. it doesn't feel right to me that an entity could evolve to a high level, say 5th density, and still function segragatively. kinda goes against what i thought higher density levels were.)
and their answer:
from a place of "perceived" empowerment, yes. even the concept of fear is a perception, and is chosen as experience. at the highest levels, there is not the emotionality that you assign to these concepts. there is/exists the action dynamic of attraction and repulsion, of vacuum and beingness. there exists not the dynamics of fear and acceptance/good and evil. those are rudimentary labels you assign as you play with these ideas utilizing certain "filters". take the blinders (filters) off and the question would not need to be asked. you (will) remove the obstacles (filters) to understanding when you are finished playing that game. your game-mates don't necessarily finish, or "tire" concurrently with you, so it can seem as if there is this "big thing/series of events" going on that you damn well better pay attention to. it all seems so much bigger than you, while in reality it is, in all its grand entirety, an idea that you mentally view from the inside, from all possible angles.
do people (entities/personalities) always choose evil/negativity from a place of fear? can evil ever be chosen from a place of empowerment? (i asked this question after reading the law of one/ra material. it bothered me that they, ra, seemed to be saying that you had to be wary because in some systems, higher level beings were operating with negative intent, ie: to subjugate and control. it doesn't feel right to me that an entity could evolve to a high level, say 5th density, and still function segragatively. kinda goes against what i thought higher density levels were.)
and their answer:
from a place of "perceived" empowerment, yes. even the concept of fear is a perception, and is chosen as experience. at the highest levels, there is not the emotionality that you assign to these concepts. there is/exists the action dynamic of attraction and repulsion, of vacuum and beingness. there exists not the dynamics of fear and acceptance/good and evil. those are rudimentary labels you assign as you play with these ideas utilizing certain "filters". take the blinders (filters) off and the question would not need to be asked. you (will) remove the obstacles (filters) to understanding when you are finished playing that game. your game-mates don't necessarily finish, or "tire" concurrently with you, so it can seem as if there is this "big thing/series of events" going on that you damn well better pay attention to. it all seems so much bigger than you, while in reality it is, in all its grand entirety, an idea that you mentally view from the inside, from all possible angles.
enough
from march 3, 2011
it isn't possible to hold in conscious awareness all that you are, all that you are becoming, not in one small piece of human consciousness. you are also an integral portion of a much larger "piece" (of consciousness), and from that perspective are able to hold more of your whole self in "mind". it isn't necessary to know more than you are able to know, as one human being. for you are responsible for/to specific developmental arenas that you yourself have decided upon. its really more that you ARE specific ideas of a larger whole, but do remember that the whole is contained in all its parts, holographically speaking.
so be content with who you are, what you know, and know that it is enough, always. relaxing into yourself in total acceptance paradoxically speeds up/excites your ability to Flow more of who you are through your human form. assuming you are deficient in some way acts in the same way as an electrical resistance, slowing progress way down. as we use the word progress here we are meaning "expression of self".
it isn't possible to hold in conscious awareness all that you are, all that you are becoming, not in one small piece of human consciousness. you are also an integral portion of a much larger "piece" (of consciousness), and from that perspective are able to hold more of your whole self in "mind". it isn't necessary to know more than you are able to know, as one human being. for you are responsible for/to specific developmental arenas that you yourself have decided upon. its really more that you ARE specific ideas of a larger whole, but do remember that the whole is contained in all its parts, holographically speaking.
so be content with who you are, what you know, and know that it is enough, always. relaxing into yourself in total acceptance paradoxically speeds up/excites your ability to Flow more of who you are through your human form. assuming you are deficient in some way acts in the same way as an electrical resistance, slowing progress way down. as we use the word progress here we are meaning "expression of self".
Saturday, March 19, 2011
trust
from march 1, 2011
(again. they constantly harp on me about trust).
trust yourself!! it is your biggest challenge, in all areas of your life.
every little thing that happens has its place. trust it, even if you don't see it at the time, or maybe never see it, trust that it has its place in the nature of events. a lot of little nuts and bolts holds a big machine together, and here we are speaking of the machine of the Moment. trust, and relax.
your changing, evolving intent, thoughts and ideas continually arrange and rearrange the machinery of the one eternal moment.
trust the timing of events. indeed, trust the events themselves. all things are complete and whole within themselves.
(again. they constantly harp on me about trust).
trust yourself!! it is your biggest challenge, in all areas of your life.
every little thing that happens has its place. trust it, even if you don't see it at the time, or maybe never see it, trust that it has its place in the nature of events. a lot of little nuts and bolts holds a big machine together, and here we are speaking of the machine of the Moment. trust, and relax.
your changing, evolving intent, thoughts and ideas continually arrange and rearrange the machinery of the one eternal moment.
trust the timing of events. indeed, trust the events themselves. all things are complete and whole within themselves.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
re-define
(october 09)
its all a matter of where you are putting your energy. are you putting your energy into figuring out what you are going to do Without?, or into Having what you desire?
even a slight shift in the direction of your energy changes everything. physics says - the change must be reflected back to you from outside circumstances - which then serves to keep the ball rolling in this new direction - which adds excitement and momentum that feeds upon itself, taking you to a new place, a new experience of events.
re-define, re-define, re-define. if something isn't working in your life experience - wash it clean of meaning and look at it anew. give it a meaning that feels better. let it be Fluid. allow it to change/morph into a circumstance that works For you.
hold in mind that All events originate from you anyway. You're not suddenly performing magic to direct events into an avenue that suits you better. its the same magic you've been using all along, its just that Now you are conscious of what you've been doing.
its all a matter of where you are putting your energy. are you putting your energy into figuring out what you are going to do Without?, or into Having what you desire?
even a slight shift in the direction of your energy changes everything. physics says - the change must be reflected back to you from outside circumstances - which then serves to keep the ball rolling in this new direction - which adds excitement and momentum that feeds upon itself, taking you to a new place, a new experience of events.
re-define, re-define, re-define. if something isn't working in your life experience - wash it clean of meaning and look at it anew. give it a meaning that feels better. let it be Fluid. allow it to change/morph into a circumstance that works For you.
hold in mind that All events originate from you anyway. You're not suddenly performing magic to direct events into an avenue that suits you better. its the same magic you've been using all along, its just that Now you are conscious of what you've been doing.
pets
(early january 08)
it is a certain aspect of themselves that they express by choosing a certain pet, an identification placed outside of themselves to express something internal. a playing, if you wish to see it this way, with the energies contained within certain ideas of preferred attributes.
dogs can represent a fun way of viewing the world, loyalty, service, exuberant energy, tireless enthusiasm. in general. particular breeds can represent their own characteristics: breeds with a reputation for toughness, fighting, aggression being chosen for the expression of energy the owners themselves wish to convey - but are allowing the dog to "do it for them" sts.
ferrets, ferreting out possibilities, a little stealthfully.
*notes: since this does not mention cats, which are my choice of pet, i'm thinking that this is in response to my questioning of why some particular people in my life have a fascination with pit bulls, and in the past... ferrets. further note: let it be known that i have nothing personal against pit bulls. the one i was in contact with seemed to be a sweet and lovable dog.
it is a certain aspect of themselves that they express by choosing a certain pet, an identification placed outside of themselves to express something internal. a playing, if you wish to see it this way, with the energies contained within certain ideas of preferred attributes.
dogs can represent a fun way of viewing the world, loyalty, service, exuberant energy, tireless enthusiasm. in general. particular breeds can represent their own characteristics: breeds with a reputation for toughness, fighting, aggression being chosen for the expression of energy the owners themselves wish to convey - but are allowing the dog to "do it for them" sts.
ferrets, ferreting out possibilities, a little stealthfully.
*notes: since this does not mention cats, which are my choice of pet, i'm thinking that this is in response to my questioning of why some particular people in my life have a fascination with pit bulls, and in the past... ferrets. further note: let it be known that i have nothing personal against pit bulls. the one i was in contact with seemed to be a sweet and lovable dog.
insightful snippet
undated.
it is easy to "lose oneself" in the drawn out play of events in one's daily life, falling into the spaces between effort and effect. however, there is always value in the effort, even if one loses sight (albeit temporarily) of the outcome. the reaching towards the next thing is the creative force of life in action.
it is easy to "lose oneself" in the drawn out play of events in one's daily life, falling into the spaces between effort and effect. however, there is always value in the effort, even if one loses sight (albeit temporarily) of the outcome. the reaching towards the next thing is the creative force of life in action.
nothing to lose, inner/outer self, joy
(from 9-9-09)
the place of "having nothing to lose" is often the best place to start/begin. there can be a building up of the new, without a feeling of tearing down the old. the old is not working, has not worked for some time, which puts one in an excellent place for play and exploration.
those gems of knowledge, that sense of trust, is discovered by way of taking action, being trusting enough, thoughtful enough, indeed Committed enough, to one's own overall development, to take action on the next small thing, and the next small thing, etc, without necessarily knowing/being able to see the outcome.
the inner self is similar to the human eye in the way that it cannot "see" itself, except through reflection. like the back of the eyeball, it processes the data that the front of the eye is exposing itself to. the front of the eye (ego) cannot see the back of the eye, but knows that it exists if for no other reason than that it itself exists. one whole unit, with various parts/aspects performing different functions within an overall "one" function, to see/experience/know.
the ego, or outer self, does its part just by existing, by being in the world, existing physically. in a sense, it can't go wrong. everything it encounters is processed by the inner self, and added to the vast storehouse of knowledge and experience that forms the individual personality.
the more open, soft, and malleable a personality is, the more data it can gather for its "whole self"; rigidity on the other hand just brings more of the same. even that (rigidity) is useful, as just one more kind of experience that can be had.
we are always saying "just have fun with it!", and that is a bigger statement than it may seem. the attitude/mindset of fun is relaxed, soft, impressionable, and can absorb more experience.
when one is doing something for the pure joy of it, there is no higher attunement with one's soul/higher self to be had on the physical plane.
the more one gives attention to/notices what brings one closer to, or separates one from, one's joy and passion in life, the finer edged their tool of discernment becomes.
the place of "having nothing to lose" is often the best place to start/begin. there can be a building up of the new, without a feeling of tearing down the old. the old is not working, has not worked for some time, which puts one in an excellent place for play and exploration.
those gems of knowledge, that sense of trust, is discovered by way of taking action, being trusting enough, thoughtful enough, indeed Committed enough, to one's own overall development, to take action on the next small thing, and the next small thing, etc, without necessarily knowing/being able to see the outcome.
the inner self is similar to the human eye in the way that it cannot "see" itself, except through reflection. like the back of the eyeball, it processes the data that the front of the eye is exposing itself to. the front of the eye (ego) cannot see the back of the eye, but knows that it exists if for no other reason than that it itself exists. one whole unit, with various parts/aspects performing different functions within an overall "one" function, to see/experience/know.
the ego, or outer self, does its part just by existing, by being in the world, existing physically. in a sense, it can't go wrong. everything it encounters is processed by the inner self, and added to the vast storehouse of knowledge and experience that forms the individual personality.
the more open, soft, and malleable a personality is, the more data it can gather for its "whole self"; rigidity on the other hand just brings more of the same. even that (rigidity) is useful, as just one more kind of experience that can be had.
we are always saying "just have fun with it!", and that is a bigger statement than it may seem. the attitude/mindset of fun is relaxed, soft, impressionable, and can absorb more experience.
when one is doing something for the pure joy of it, there is no higher attunement with one's soul/higher self to be had on the physical plane.
the more one gives attention to/notices what brings one closer to, or separates one from, one's joy and passion in life, the finer edged their tool of discernment becomes.
on stuckedness and letting go
(from august 2009)
the opportunities you seek will arise Within you. they are not something outside of yourself that you must Find. but we know what you mean when you ask the question.
you contain it All, already. you may, if you wish, allow yourself to shift your focus, alighting on one possibility and then another, and notice what you perceive. does the thing you are contemplating "light up", does it light up more or less than the other thing? notice, have fun with it, be in joyful spirit. we prod you with encouragement only because you have asked. you are perfect already.
use your stuckedness as a platform to leap from. use your inertia as contrast to push yourself off. start where you are, in Every moment! it is the nature of things anyway... there is only the moment, and a perpetually new you.
let it be as it is. know what you know. its alright. no need to keep questioning it.
if the flow seems slow to you in one area, move into an area that moves a little faster, if that feels more comfortable to you. perception is part of the discernment process.
One thing will light up, shine brighter, if you don't judge it with pre-conceived ideas/thoughts.
this is a key point when we attempt to connect - to reach towards you as you have reached towards us. Let Go!! things do not have to be a certain way. go by your feelings. allow yourself to feel good, to feel satisfied... you are good at noticing when you don't. feel it when you do.
narrow your focus, walk a thinner line, lighten up your load. let go of what does not fit. quit arranging and re-arranging and trying to Make things fit.
bring your focus more into what's immediately ahead of you... paradoxically you will be clearing the path for the "future", widening the possibilities, and becoming more of who you are, doing more of what is your overall (oversoul if you will) intent.
the opportunities you seek will arise Within you. they are not something outside of yourself that you must Find. but we know what you mean when you ask the question.
you contain it All, already. you may, if you wish, allow yourself to shift your focus, alighting on one possibility and then another, and notice what you perceive. does the thing you are contemplating "light up", does it light up more or less than the other thing? notice, have fun with it, be in joyful spirit. we prod you with encouragement only because you have asked. you are perfect already.
use your stuckedness as a platform to leap from. use your inertia as contrast to push yourself off. start where you are, in Every moment! it is the nature of things anyway... there is only the moment, and a perpetually new you.
let it be as it is. know what you know. its alright. no need to keep questioning it.
if the flow seems slow to you in one area, move into an area that moves a little faster, if that feels more comfortable to you. perception is part of the discernment process.
One thing will light up, shine brighter, if you don't judge it with pre-conceived ideas/thoughts.
this is a key point when we attempt to connect - to reach towards you as you have reached towards us. Let Go!! things do not have to be a certain way. go by your feelings. allow yourself to feel good, to feel satisfied... you are good at noticing when you don't. feel it when you do.
narrow your focus, walk a thinner line, lighten up your load. let go of what does not fit. quit arranging and re-arranging and trying to Make things fit.
bring your focus more into what's immediately ahead of you... paradoxically you will be clearing the path for the "future", widening the possibilities, and becoming more of who you are, doing more of what is your overall (oversoul if you will) intent.
on denial
(from november 29th, 2009)
denial IS separation. separating yourself from your own truth, in an attempt to keep yourself in the cocoon of the known. a comfort zone of security in a sea of chaos. but your truth eeks out, in compulsion, attitude, eventually in ill health.
separation feels like a danger zone of "lost and possibly never found".
one's truth is never really lost, or separated from one's soul. it can't be, it is who you are. but it can be held outside your conscious awareness, relegated to the subconscious where you hold those aspects of yourselves you are not ready to incorporate. its always there, and a delicious tension exists between that truth and the lives you live. the process of opening up to more of yourselves, living your true being, defines this time on your earth, this age in your history, that you all have chosen to participate in. individually, and collectively, expanding, opening up and bringing more of yourselves into the light and letting go of what doesn't fit. reconnecting with the parts of yourselves you've denied and therefore experienced as separated from, for so long.
denial IS separation. separating yourself from your own truth, in an attempt to keep yourself in the cocoon of the known. a comfort zone of security in a sea of chaos. but your truth eeks out, in compulsion, attitude, eventually in ill health.
separation feels like a danger zone of "lost and possibly never found".
one's truth is never really lost, or separated from one's soul. it can't be, it is who you are. but it can be held outside your conscious awareness, relegated to the subconscious where you hold those aspects of yourselves you are not ready to incorporate. its always there, and a delicious tension exists between that truth and the lives you live. the process of opening up to more of yourselves, living your true being, defines this time on your earth, this age in your history, that you all have chosen to participate in. individually, and collectively, expanding, opening up and bringing more of yourselves into the light and letting go of what doesn't fit. reconnecting with the parts of yourselves you've denied and therefore experienced as separated from, for so long.
on supplements
(march 18th, 2010):
the body is its own consciousness, upon which yours rides. your personality is/gives the organizing principle for/on behalf of, the myriad cells/molecules and atoms making up the physical structure. these components vibrate within a certain range in order that physical participation is achieved. where upon the components are given/supplied with the necessary "ingredients" sts, to operate at their optimal level ("optimal" being arbitrary, according to the intent of the individual), they function according to the environment they are given by the organizing principle of their existence within the human personality range. certain substances, which operate upon certain frequencies co-merging with the more basic construction of the body - can effect the functioning structures of that overall organization to be more removed from, or closer to, the primary intent of the personality.
there is a point where this becomes irrelevant. barring a personal recognition of that point, adjusting the function of the physical structures by adjusting the molecular environment can assist one in aligning with their intent. this can be in the form of adding to, Or taking away.
the body is its own consciousness, upon which yours rides. your personality is/gives the organizing principle for/on behalf of, the myriad cells/molecules and atoms making up the physical structure. these components vibrate within a certain range in order that physical participation is achieved. where upon the components are given/supplied with the necessary "ingredients" sts, to operate at their optimal level ("optimal" being arbitrary, according to the intent of the individual), they function according to the environment they are given by the organizing principle of their existence within the human personality range. certain substances, which operate upon certain frequencies co-merging with the more basic construction of the body - can effect the functioning structures of that overall organization to be more removed from, or closer to, the primary intent of the personality.
there is a point where this becomes irrelevant. barring a personal recognition of that point, adjusting the function of the physical structures by adjusting the molecular environment can assist one in aligning with their intent. this can be in the form of adding to, Or taking away.
intention to post my own channelings
at this very late date in the game, and as a part of my own expansion, have decided to go a bit more "public" with the reams of information i get for myself thru automatic writing. i have never known what to call them (though i think this is a bit by design); they converse with me telepathically as a group, and often will say "We this, or We that..." alot of times, this communication is in response to specific questions i ask of them, but sometimes it just comes to me out of the blue (oftentimes when i'm in the shower, ha!). but even then, most times it concerns something i have been thinking about intently, and often addresses my confusion in a helpful way.
i think a lot of people are doing this now, as things are speeding up and we are getting closer to ourselves. the thing i wrestle with is feeling like a big dork. in fact, i was thinking of naming this blog "tales from the dork side". but since it is a feeling i'd like to pass through and not perpetuate, i won't do that (cause then i'd have to remind myself of what a big dork i am every time i log in). also, i have worried from time to time whether or not this whole thing is symbolic of multiple personality disorder, since i do literally hear voices in my head. but i don't care about that anymore. i'm much more relaxed into, and accepting of, my Self, and all my weirdness and idiosyncrasies.
i'm going to pull some random older pieces that have been helpful to me, and post them first. then maybe start posting daily fresh info at some point. my thinking had been that this info is for me, and probably wouldn't be helpful to others, but then i tested it by sharing with a few others and they Did find it helpful, so here goes...
and oh... an explanation of why i refer to this as channeling: it comes in a sort of "block" of information, a bunch at once, and i write really really fast, so fast that sometimes i can't read it so well afterwards. my arm and hand used to "twitch a lot" (ok go ahead and have a laugh at that one), kinda make these little jerking motions as i am writing. but that has largely stopped over the years. still happens a little bit, sometimes. but the most overwhelming proof for me that this is coming from *at least* a different level of my being, is that i have no idea from one word to the next what i will write. it bypasses my critical thinking, i am not "forming a sentence, deciding how to word it, etc." i had to learn to trust this process over time, because at first it felt really silly, to start writing a sentence that i didn't know what would be said, what word would follow next. and maybe that is at least one reason it comes so fast, so i don't have time to think about it. i feel an Urge to write, and i feel Loving information right there at my fingertips. in the past, i've felt this Urge, and known there was something there, but didn't take the time to write it down. i was too busy to be bothered :) but i've found that when i do take the time, what i write is reliably good information, for me anyway. usually helps me to see things from a renewed perspective. so now i write, if at all possible, whenever i feel the Urge. i do know that i have the ability to voice channel as well, and that is something i always wanted to play around with more. but i would need another person... and i found that when i did have someone to be on the receiving end, and we did this, my emotional, and critical facilities would often times jump in and object, stopping the flow. i never learned to stay "out there, on the fence". also, i never learned to do it "at will". i never figured out what circumstances lined up just right to allow "them" to speak through me. well, some of it i figured out... but i still couldn't just decide to have a session and sit down and do it. sometimes they would come through in the middle of the night, seemingly unbidden, but my voice would be just a whisper, as if they could not turn up the volume, so much was lost. and sometimes i would (and still do) speak loudly in a different language (i only speak english, consciously anyway)... i do not know how this is connected. well, enough for now. enough to explain why i refer to this as channeling.
i think a lot of people are doing this now, as things are speeding up and we are getting closer to ourselves. the thing i wrestle with is feeling like a big dork. in fact, i was thinking of naming this blog "tales from the dork side". but since it is a feeling i'd like to pass through and not perpetuate, i won't do that (cause then i'd have to remind myself of what a big dork i am every time i log in). also, i have worried from time to time whether or not this whole thing is symbolic of multiple personality disorder, since i do literally hear voices in my head. but i don't care about that anymore. i'm much more relaxed into, and accepting of, my Self, and all my weirdness and idiosyncrasies.
i'm going to pull some random older pieces that have been helpful to me, and post them first. then maybe start posting daily fresh info at some point. my thinking had been that this info is for me, and probably wouldn't be helpful to others, but then i tested it by sharing with a few others and they Did find it helpful, so here goes...
and oh... an explanation of why i refer to this as channeling: it comes in a sort of "block" of information, a bunch at once, and i write really really fast, so fast that sometimes i can't read it so well afterwards. my arm and hand used to "twitch a lot" (ok go ahead and have a laugh at that one), kinda make these little jerking motions as i am writing. but that has largely stopped over the years. still happens a little bit, sometimes. but the most overwhelming proof for me that this is coming from *at least* a different level of my being, is that i have no idea from one word to the next what i will write. it bypasses my critical thinking, i am not "forming a sentence, deciding how to word it, etc." i had to learn to trust this process over time, because at first it felt really silly, to start writing a sentence that i didn't know what would be said, what word would follow next. and maybe that is at least one reason it comes so fast, so i don't have time to think about it. i feel an Urge to write, and i feel Loving information right there at my fingertips. in the past, i've felt this Urge, and known there was something there, but didn't take the time to write it down. i was too busy to be bothered :) but i've found that when i do take the time, what i write is reliably good information, for me anyway. usually helps me to see things from a renewed perspective. so now i write, if at all possible, whenever i feel the Urge. i do know that i have the ability to voice channel as well, and that is something i always wanted to play around with more. but i would need another person... and i found that when i did have someone to be on the receiving end, and we did this, my emotional, and critical facilities would often times jump in and object, stopping the flow. i never learned to stay "out there, on the fence". also, i never learned to do it "at will". i never figured out what circumstances lined up just right to allow "them" to speak through me. well, some of it i figured out... but i still couldn't just decide to have a session and sit down and do it. sometimes they would come through in the middle of the night, seemingly unbidden, but my voice would be just a whisper, as if they could not turn up the volume, so much was lost. and sometimes i would (and still do) speak loudly in a different language (i only speak english, consciously anyway)... i do not know how this is connected. well, enough for now. enough to explain why i refer to this as channeling.
well, whattayaknow?
google found my blog! i started this thing centuries ago, then one time when i tried to log into it, google disavowed any knowledge of me or my blog. after several attempts i gave up. wasn't really anything on here, Except for my Name, and it pissed me off to be told that that name was already taken (yeah, by ME!) when i tried to start a new blog.
time sure passes fast! i don't even know mr. sampson anymore. not too sure that he ever existed in the first place. you know how us Old People are... kinda forgetful around the edges.
time sure passes fast! i don't even know mr. sampson anymore. not too sure that he ever existed in the first place. you know how us Old People are... kinda forgetful around the edges.
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