so many thoughts flittin about thru my brain cells.  if they were birds (cotton candy >wrey), they would be gettin tired from not landing for so long.  maybe flying into each other, gettin a bit scrambled.   i don't really feel like i have the time to sit and land a few of them, into words, on a page, albeit virtual.  so much still to do, getting settled into the new place/space.  but here's taking a few minutes, just a few.

i keep thinking over and over how primitive, Primitive, is this world, this society.  this planet.  its nearly unbelievable.

also, i am Aware of how my View of my Life has changed.  its not linear anymore.  i don't seem In It all the time like i used to for all those years that i've lived already.  its like i can see it from above, or outside, well really no direction, just Apart, at the same time i'm living it. both perspectives at once.  like i'm the insect crawling around and the eyes watching the insect crawl around.  feeling both views at the same time.  ha, i can feel my own eyes watching Me.  my own cosmic ears listening as my thoughts fall so easily down through my brain, out of my mouth and into the World.  more sharply than ever, aware of how i am changing the scene through my presence.  the impact i am having on physical events.  an impact i will not have after death.  or after transition, i should say, as there really is no death in the way so many people believe there is.  that's a good example of the primitiveness here... the idea that each person is just a random accident of nature with no meaning outside the context of physical body living within a framework of religion and government.  all it takes is a good out-of-body experience to get over that one :)  when you find yourself conscious and aware Outside your body, moving through walls as if they were apparitions, then you Know you are much more than just a body. and when you are in one place and the thought of a place on the other side of the world occurs to you, and you suddenly find yourself there... then you know that Space is just an illusion as well.  it is all a mental construct.  there is only consciousness.  existing. using time and space as a playground.

lately, i'm even More sensitive to lack of light.  ultrasensitive to dark spaces... when passing through them, i can Feel my energy level waning.  likewise, sitting in the sun (which seems extra bright and getting brighter by the day) gives me rushes of energy that feel orgasmic.  i'm Obsessed with getting the lighting right inside the house.  going back and forth between store and home, trying different bulbs in various spaces.  its like there's a whole other continuum of experience just within room lighting.