exquisitely wonderful day today! i Love summer!! had coffee on the patio, with some happy cats and a very cute spider in attendance. the air is fresh and perfect, the sun is warm but not hot. sounds of birdies and squirrels playing in the trees. so i come in and lay my mat on the floor, just inside the house, in front of the wide open door, so i don't have to leave the feel of the outdoors while i'm working out. stretching gently, breathing in deeply, thinking about how i'm breathing in the sun and the butterflies and the sounds of the critters. even the smell of wufka's fresh poop in the litter box by the back door didn't bother me much. it all mixed together sublimely... and as i'm taking in a breath, i experienced a momentary realization that i wasn't just 'breathing in' all those things, i WAS BEING all those things. not just 'experiencing', but Being. changing form with each breath, to include those elements of creation that i'm Now aware of, and Now. and now. spreading my consciousness out to be this, and now this, and now this.
i used to wonder 'why slugs', what purpose do they serve. they keep popping up in my mental imagery. no surprise since there's tons of them everywhere (here in oregon, anyway). in relation to the above, i was picturing how slugs move forward, reaching and spreading their bodies out long. they seem to 'incorporate' what's in front of them into themselves. if they touch something they don't like, they instantly recoil, and move in the other direction. if you mess with them much, they draw themselves up, appearing much smaller, and don't move. i once saw two slugs mating, a long time ago, like back in the early 90's. before i came to appreciate slugs. at the time, i thought it was disgusting. all wrapped up in each other, twisted and twirled around and hanging down in one slimy drippy mess. ugh!
if i saw that again, i would take it in. and let the beauty of two consciousnesses coming together in energy pervade my soul. how wonderful that i am someone different in every moment!! and that i get to choose what to take in, and what to recoil from.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
dare i
from june 29th, 2011
dare i not feel alone
dare i feel the all of me
at least as far out as i can go.
because the all of me, is literally - the ALL.
and by design - this me cannot be me and contain all that.
but paradoxically, it does.
its the rushing in to see the rest
that creates the wanting
its the knowing that i'm more
so much more
that makes me move.
dare i not feel alone
dare i feel the all of me
at least as far out as i can go.
because the all of me, is literally - the ALL.
and by design - this me cannot be me and contain all that.
but paradoxically, it does.
its the rushing in to see the rest
that creates the wanting
its the knowing that i'm more
so much more
that makes me move.
beliefs form the framework
from june 29th, 2011
your beliefs frame your existence, like a window that your soul peers through. imagine a spaceship, flying through the vastness of a single lifetime of possibility. belief is your map, your direction, your calling card for experience. as you believe - you see, you know, you live. you must believe something to be alive. to be a life. belief chooses which window of all the possible windows you will view the physical world through.
when you get comfortable in one spot, one place, you tend not to want to move. the view becomes a comfort, but also after awhile, a hindrance, as you must overcome a bit of inertia in order to move.
as you believe yourself to be, so you Are. Not as you contemplate, but as you Know. therefore, the better you get at defining yourself, the harder it can be to see things differently. in the beginning of a lifetime, when things are relatively malleable, when you first become aware that You, not They (parents, family, etc.), get to define who you are - who you shall become, when you still perceive your life out ahead of you, when the future - your future - seems vast and full of possibility, it is easy to switch back and forth between windows - frameworks - definitions of who you are. as you age, your view becomes smaller as your perceived future shrinks and your definitions become set. not so fluid, not so easy to change. this is not to say it can't be done - but the inertia to be overcome can seem unreasonably difficult.
you were worried about worry, about your brain being full, about nothing seeming easy. you were worried about waking to worry, about your view out the window of your soul seeming clouded, about your self-words (it can't be done, i can't have this thing, do this thing, be this thing). wondering how that belief, that view, came into existence, how it colors your experience, why it seems so hard to change.
you waded in quicksand and got stuck, like so many others; it is not a reason for self-condemnation. loosen up on the ego, soften the hold on the reins. *nothing is more real than anything else*. it just seems so because you've been sitting in that chair for so long, looking out the same window, forgotten that so many other possibilities exist, forgotten what you so easily "knew" in your youth. lack of seeing new possibility causes many to transition. it becomes easier to leave the house for a whole new neighborhood than to just change rooms.
now the ego is designed to plant itself in one place; it seeks stability. otherwise you could not have an experience as one being, for what seems to you as years of a particular lifetime. ego anchors you into experience. beliefs strengthen ego to do its job. trouble is - can be- that ego works overtime. fearing the chaotic experiences it sometimes creates/encounters, it seeks ever more stability, ever more control. ego can become so rigid/unmoving that you can lose the natural fluidity that you were born with, the ability to flow easily from one possibility to another.
consider practicing (to gain the experience of the feeling of loosening up) leaving holes - allowing the holes to fill by themselves, as water will rush in at high tide, filling the open spaces of sand. your job is to dig the holes (with pure, simple, uncountered desire), then step away and allow the water to rush in. let it be easy...
your beliefs frame your existence, like a window that your soul peers through. imagine a spaceship, flying through the vastness of a single lifetime of possibility. belief is your map, your direction, your calling card for experience. as you believe - you see, you know, you live. you must believe something to be alive. to be a life. belief chooses which window of all the possible windows you will view the physical world through.
when you get comfortable in one spot, one place, you tend not to want to move. the view becomes a comfort, but also after awhile, a hindrance, as you must overcome a bit of inertia in order to move.
as you believe yourself to be, so you Are. Not as you contemplate, but as you Know. therefore, the better you get at defining yourself, the harder it can be to see things differently. in the beginning of a lifetime, when things are relatively malleable, when you first become aware that You, not They (parents, family, etc.), get to define who you are - who you shall become, when you still perceive your life out ahead of you, when the future - your future - seems vast and full of possibility, it is easy to switch back and forth between windows - frameworks - definitions of who you are. as you age, your view becomes smaller as your perceived future shrinks and your definitions become set. not so fluid, not so easy to change. this is not to say it can't be done - but the inertia to be overcome can seem unreasonably difficult.
you were worried about worry, about your brain being full, about nothing seeming easy. you were worried about waking to worry, about your view out the window of your soul seeming clouded, about your self-words (it can't be done, i can't have this thing, do this thing, be this thing). wondering how that belief, that view, came into existence, how it colors your experience, why it seems so hard to change.
you waded in quicksand and got stuck, like so many others; it is not a reason for self-condemnation. loosen up on the ego, soften the hold on the reins. *nothing is more real than anything else*. it just seems so because you've been sitting in that chair for so long, looking out the same window, forgotten that so many other possibilities exist, forgotten what you so easily "knew" in your youth. lack of seeing new possibility causes many to transition. it becomes easier to leave the house for a whole new neighborhood than to just change rooms.
now the ego is designed to plant itself in one place; it seeks stability. otherwise you could not have an experience as one being, for what seems to you as years of a particular lifetime. ego anchors you into experience. beliefs strengthen ego to do its job. trouble is - can be- that ego works overtime. fearing the chaotic experiences it sometimes creates/encounters, it seeks ever more stability, ever more control. ego can become so rigid/unmoving that you can lose the natural fluidity that you were born with, the ability to flow easily from one possibility to another.
consider practicing (to gain the experience of the feeling of loosening up) leaving holes - allowing the holes to fill by themselves, as water will rush in at high tide, filling the open spaces of sand. your job is to dig the holes (with pure, simple, uncountered desire), then step away and allow the water to rush in. let it be easy...
question: what the heck is going on?
from june 24th, 2011
many entities expressing many viewpoints inside a mental atmosphere of distrust of self, expressions of powerlessness, loss of hope, not understanding what "hope" is. what does it mean when people say "i (we) hope it gets better"? its putting one's life circumstances into someone else's hands, its putting one's state of being out there to be blown around in the conflicting winds of deceit and greed. people everywhere bringing up issues from the depths of their beings, using this playing field to purge their souls of old energies, tired arenas of activity that have been thoroughly explored. so many of you moving on, to other playgrounds. one of the big opportunities before you now is exactly in the area of holding your own energy within the always swirling/changing mix. realizing that you yourself are the director of your own being, your own life.
so its obvious that you are co-creating with other beings, but so many of you see the "world" impinging upon you, instead of you impinging upon the world.
decide where you are going, and there you Are. know this within yourself. it just doesn't matter where anyone else is. let them be where they are, graciously, without judgment or concern.
the game is not "out there", you are not in some mental battle to discover "the truth", to figure out what's being hidden from you, to pit yourself against "them". the game is within. its not about pretending that what you know/see isn't there. the whole of you knows. the incarnated ego cannot fool the inner self. for so long (which really amounts to: for such an intense focus), the "self" has cordoned off bits of itself and thrown stones from one bit to another. this applies to the whole of humanity as well as to the individual human. as you are able to dissolve the fog between the various parts of yourselves, and take action as a whole being, so will humanity come together in the same way.
the distrust so apparent in planetwide society is reflective of the distrust inside yourselves. if you feel powerless against leaders and regimes and are raging against that, it is your own internal sense of powerlessness that you rage against. many are now recognizing their own individual power, within society, and in their own lives. always, the outer is but a reflection of the inner. unless one is able to tie these things together, in their own minds, they are battling paper tigers, even to their own seemingly real and bloody deaths. all chose to be here, in this time, playing their part in bringing man together, into a unified whole. man, as an individual - dissolving the barriers between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious - the dream universe, astral planes of existence, and other "lives" - probable selves and family-of-consciousness connections. and man as a species, maturing into a future race capable of interaction with beings of other dimensions and origins.
____
question: well: a comment. i get discouraged at my own negative thinking. sometimes i have to push push push myself to try to see the positive side of things. i read inspiring material; i make programs for myself, but don't follow them for more than a few days. i get all hyped up about changing things for myself, then fall back down into inertia. help.
you continue to rearrange furniture in an old room. move yourself into a whole new room, an entirely different room. the world is a very different place, in this now. be in the now world. and don't try to drag the old stuff in there with you :). no matter what situation you were in, you wouldn't be happy with things remaining the same. its inevitable that life changes, You are constantly changing - the human race is changing. don't try so hard to live from the old perspective - that does take energy. takes You, because You are the energy of yourself - you can flow your river of energy wherever you please. it seems so difficult flowing into the past because its out of alignment with who you are Now. the person that you have become through the living of your life, your explorations and experience.
you are still heavily invested in (flowing the energy that is you into) interactions with others, when your interactions with yourself could be your primary focus.
many entities expressing many viewpoints inside a mental atmosphere of distrust of self, expressions of powerlessness, loss of hope, not understanding what "hope" is. what does it mean when people say "i (we) hope it gets better"? its putting one's life circumstances into someone else's hands, its putting one's state of being out there to be blown around in the conflicting winds of deceit and greed. people everywhere bringing up issues from the depths of their beings, using this playing field to purge their souls of old energies, tired arenas of activity that have been thoroughly explored. so many of you moving on, to other playgrounds. one of the big opportunities before you now is exactly in the area of holding your own energy within the always swirling/changing mix. realizing that you yourself are the director of your own being, your own life.
so its obvious that you are co-creating with other beings, but so many of you see the "world" impinging upon you, instead of you impinging upon the world.
decide where you are going, and there you Are. know this within yourself. it just doesn't matter where anyone else is. let them be where they are, graciously, without judgment or concern.
the game is not "out there", you are not in some mental battle to discover "the truth", to figure out what's being hidden from you, to pit yourself against "them". the game is within. its not about pretending that what you know/see isn't there. the whole of you knows. the incarnated ego cannot fool the inner self. for so long (which really amounts to: for such an intense focus), the "self" has cordoned off bits of itself and thrown stones from one bit to another. this applies to the whole of humanity as well as to the individual human. as you are able to dissolve the fog between the various parts of yourselves, and take action as a whole being, so will humanity come together in the same way.
the distrust so apparent in planetwide society is reflective of the distrust inside yourselves. if you feel powerless against leaders and regimes and are raging against that, it is your own internal sense of powerlessness that you rage against. many are now recognizing their own individual power, within society, and in their own lives. always, the outer is but a reflection of the inner. unless one is able to tie these things together, in their own minds, they are battling paper tigers, even to their own seemingly real and bloody deaths. all chose to be here, in this time, playing their part in bringing man together, into a unified whole. man, as an individual - dissolving the barriers between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious - the dream universe, astral planes of existence, and other "lives" - probable selves and family-of-consciousness connections. and man as a species, maturing into a future race capable of interaction with beings of other dimensions and origins.
____
question: well: a comment. i get discouraged at my own negative thinking. sometimes i have to push push push myself to try to see the positive side of things. i read inspiring material; i make programs for myself, but don't follow them for more than a few days. i get all hyped up about changing things for myself, then fall back down into inertia. help.
you continue to rearrange furniture in an old room. move yourself into a whole new room, an entirely different room. the world is a very different place, in this now. be in the now world. and don't try to drag the old stuff in there with you :). no matter what situation you were in, you wouldn't be happy with things remaining the same. its inevitable that life changes, You are constantly changing - the human race is changing. don't try so hard to live from the old perspective - that does take energy. takes You, because You are the energy of yourself - you can flow your river of energy wherever you please. it seems so difficult flowing into the past because its out of alignment with who you are Now. the person that you have become through the living of your life, your explorations and experience.
you are still heavily invested in (flowing the energy that is you into) interactions with others, when your interactions with yourself could be your primary focus.
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