beliefs form the framework

from june 29th, 2011

your beliefs frame your existence, like a window that your soul peers through.  imagine a spaceship, flying through the vastness of a single lifetime of possibility.  belief is your map, your direction, your calling card for experience.  as you believe - you see, you know, you live. you must believe something to be alive.  to be a life.  belief chooses which window of all the possible windows you will view the physical world through.

when you get comfortable in one spot, one place, you tend not to want to move.  the view becomes a comfort, but also after awhile, a hindrance, as you must overcome a bit of inertia in order to move.

as you believe yourself to be, so you Are.  Not as you contemplate, but as you Know. therefore, the better you get at defining yourself, the harder it can be to see things differently. in the beginning of a lifetime, when things are relatively malleable, when you first become aware that You, not They (parents, family, etc.), get to define who you are - who you shall become, when you still perceive your life out ahead of you, when the future - your future - seems vast and full of possibility, it is easy to switch back and forth between windows - frameworks - definitions of who you are.  as you age, your view becomes smaller as your perceived future shrinks and your definitions become set.  not so fluid, not so easy to change.  this is not to say it can't be done - but the inertia to be overcome can seem unreasonably difficult.

you were worried about worry, about your brain being full, about nothing seeming easy.  you were worried about waking to worry, about your view out the window of your soul seeming clouded, about your self-words (it can't be done, i can't have this thing, do this thing, be this thing).  wondering how that belief, that view, came into existence, how it colors your experience, why it seems so hard to change.

you waded in quicksand and got stuck, like so many others; it is not a reason for self-condemnation. loosen up on the ego, soften the hold on the reins.  *nothing is more real than anything else*.  it just seems so because you've been sitting in that chair for so long, looking out the same window, forgotten that so many other possibilities exist, forgotten what you so easily "knew" in your youth.  lack of seeing new possibility causes many to transition.  it becomes easier to leave the house for a whole new neighborhood than to just change rooms.

now the ego is designed to plant itself in one place; it seeks stability.  otherwise you could not have an experience as one being, for what seems to you as years of a particular lifetime.  ego anchors you into experience.  beliefs strengthen ego to do its job.  trouble is - can be- that ego works overtime.  fearing the chaotic experiences it sometimes creates/encounters, it seeks ever more stability, ever more control.  ego can become so rigid/unmoving that you can lose the natural fluidity that you were born with, the ability to flow easily from one possibility to another.

consider practicing (to gain the experience of the feeling of loosening up) leaving holes - allowing the holes to fill by themselves, as water will rush in at high tide, filling the open spaces of sand.  your job is to dig the holes (with pure, simple, uncountered desire), then step away and allow the water to rush in.  let it be easy...