today, for the first time this year, i smelled spring. a certain Unmistakable smell that gets in the oregon air only in the springtime. must come from some prolific native foliage (i’ve never figured out just what), a thick sweet yellow smell.
most years i live in anticipation of it, sometimes for weeks before actually smelling it, but this year i hadn’t even thought of it yet. the air is still so cold from the long dreary winter, no leaves on the trees, and the daffodils have just begun declaring themselves (which usually happens in february). so when i caught a whiff of it in the air today while getting in my car, it was doubly sweet for taking me by complete surprise.
sometimes, a moment will instantly connect me up to other like moments, forming a chain of associations strung together by something other than linear time. this happened today when that first hint of “the smell” seeped into my lungs. images came flooding into my mind, memories of many other years of “first time i smelled spring” moments. once in the parking lot of the incredible universe store, once in front of the apartments glen and i lived in when sherrie was a little girl, once when hiking along eagle creek in the mud, once when walking to the store.
smelling “the smell” has been of big psychological import to my warmth-starved transplanted-alabamian psyche for all the years i’ve lived in oregon. in my birthplace, winter just flows into spring effortlessly. well, punctuated by a few electrical storms and blown transformers, but it comes early and predictably. there isn’t the Longing for spring that i experience here, with winter dragging on and on, people forgetting what the sun actually looks like, umbrellas actually wearing out from use. so when i smell the smell, i’m reassured that yes we Will have a Spring afterall. sweet.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
film negatives and unplayed keys
i was thinking of how i’m defined as much by what i don’t do well as by what i do. this occurred to me as i was painting a futuristic distant planet scene on a table. i’m always saying i can’t draw, cause it comes so hard. i have to fuss over it and erase and re-do. but i’m very good at imagining abstract scenes and things in my mind and painting them. i’m bad at perspective, but very good at filling in the blanks with random bits of brushstrokes that are “suggestive” of something; forming shapes that leave interpretation open to the viewer, taking them where it takes them.
i’ve come to see my lack of artistic ability coupled with an insatiable desire to do artistic things, as a way to force expansion of the traits i do possess but haven’t integrated. strong points within me are my infinite (literally never-ending) imagination, wide-open view of the universe, and an intuitive sense of the “origin of materiality”. when a group of us sits down to draw, making cards or whatever, someone will invariably say... i don’t know what to draw. i Never have that problem! there are always tons of ideas circling around at the ready, and its more of a sticking point for me to choose just one of them. but i envy the ability my girls have to get concepts down so well on paper. they are gifted, each in their own way, all four of them, with drawing/artistic ability that far exceeds anything i could even dream of doing, in this lifetime anyway.
like on the piano, the keys you don’t play are the “negative” of the ones you do play, framing and supporting the chosen ones. objects, music, drawing, even ideas, have their existence by what they aren’t as much as by what they are.
i’m thinking of ascii code, how there are 8 bits (well, eight main ones framed by the parity and othersuch bits at beginning and end). they are the same bits, but either turned off or turned on, either chosen or not chosen to form the little piece of data (number letter symbol).
when i think in these terms, i don’t feel so bad about my lack of ability in particular areas, cause i know that overall, i contain it all. and the places where i’m turned off, are what so eloquently allows, and highlights, the places where i’m turned on.
i’ve come to see my lack of artistic ability coupled with an insatiable desire to do artistic things, as a way to force expansion of the traits i do possess but haven’t integrated. strong points within me are my infinite (literally never-ending) imagination, wide-open view of the universe, and an intuitive sense of the “origin of materiality”. when a group of us sits down to draw, making cards or whatever, someone will invariably say... i don’t know what to draw. i Never have that problem! there are always tons of ideas circling around at the ready, and its more of a sticking point for me to choose just one of them. but i envy the ability my girls have to get concepts down so well on paper. they are gifted, each in their own way, all four of them, with drawing/artistic ability that far exceeds anything i could even dream of doing, in this lifetime anyway.
like on the piano, the keys you don’t play are the “negative” of the ones you do play, framing and supporting the chosen ones. objects, music, drawing, even ideas, have their existence by what they aren’t as much as by what they are.
i’m thinking of ascii code, how there are 8 bits (well, eight main ones framed by the parity and othersuch bits at beginning and end). they are the same bits, but either turned off or turned on, either chosen or not chosen to form the little piece of data (number letter symbol).
when i think in these terms, i don’t feel so bad about my lack of ability in particular areas, cause i know that overall, i contain it all. and the places where i’m turned off, are what so eloquently allows, and highlights, the places where i’m turned on.
Monday, March 28, 2011
generosity of spirit
(journal entry from july 19th, 2010)
sometimes, someone will surprise me by showing me acceptance and love, even when they by all rights have reason to be offended, or to not communicate with me at all. i’ve had an intense year (though it seems i say that every year, just about). there have been more times than i’m comfortable thinking about where i haven’t shown up for another person. when i’ve dropped the ball, or even said or did possibly offensive things. there have been times when i just couldn’t give; i had nothing at the moment to give, or that felt worthy of giving. even written words to answer someone’s email, cause i would have had to arrange the words in a way that made some kind of sense and didn’t betray the insanity i was feeling inside. so i said or wrote nothing. i’ve snapped out of it long enough to start a thread on one of the online lists, then fell back into my hole and dropped outta sight again, leaving comments unanswered. many times in the past several months, i didn’t answer calls from friends. sometimes i went to get my phone when i heard it ringing, but just couldn’t bring myself to answer and say hello. when things happen faster than i can absorb them, make some kind of rational sense of them, i get too full. i get afraid that if the dam of brain cells holding it all in control gets breached, it would all come rushing out in a jumbled mess.
its no wonder people react to that by withdrawing, by washing their hands of that crazy woman judyette. sometimes that even seems like a relief to me, when i get in certain moods, when i’m alone and quiet and want to preserve that state at all costs. but sometimes, someone comes along who doesn’t judge me, who trusts that part of me that is good and worthy. who doesn’t give silence for silence, but lets me know right away, right away! that all is ok, i am loved, i can give when i can, and stay silent when i must, and they will always be there. i hold those times and those people close in my heart, they are sweet and unexpected like finding honey in the woods. they open my heart to understanding of someone’s else’s overwhelm.
funny how just one person’s acceptance of me, of where i’m at in my evolution as a human being, can evaporate a whole layer of issues, and let me see the next thing that lies beneath. it happens almost spontaneously, to be understood is to understand. i am so grateful for those who don’t give up on me, who hold my being as something of value, even in those times when i’m all holed up in my confusion, in my darkness, in my overwhelm.
sometimes, someone will surprise me by showing me acceptance and love, even when they by all rights have reason to be offended, or to not communicate with me at all. i’ve had an intense year (though it seems i say that every year, just about). there have been more times than i’m comfortable thinking about where i haven’t shown up for another person. when i’ve dropped the ball, or even said or did possibly offensive things. there have been times when i just couldn’t give; i had nothing at the moment to give, or that felt worthy of giving. even written words to answer someone’s email, cause i would have had to arrange the words in a way that made some kind of sense and didn’t betray the insanity i was feeling inside. so i said or wrote nothing. i’ve snapped out of it long enough to start a thread on one of the online lists, then fell back into my hole and dropped outta sight again, leaving comments unanswered. many times in the past several months, i didn’t answer calls from friends. sometimes i went to get my phone when i heard it ringing, but just couldn’t bring myself to answer and say hello. when things happen faster than i can absorb them, make some kind of rational sense of them, i get too full. i get afraid that if the dam of brain cells holding it all in control gets breached, it would all come rushing out in a jumbled mess.
its no wonder people react to that by withdrawing, by washing their hands of that crazy woman judyette. sometimes that even seems like a relief to me, when i get in certain moods, when i’m alone and quiet and want to preserve that state at all costs. but sometimes, someone comes along who doesn’t judge me, who trusts that part of me that is good and worthy. who doesn’t give silence for silence, but lets me know right away, right away! that all is ok, i am loved, i can give when i can, and stay silent when i must, and they will always be there. i hold those times and those people close in my heart, they are sweet and unexpected like finding honey in the woods. they open my heart to understanding of someone’s else’s overwhelm.
funny how just one person’s acceptance of me, of where i’m at in my evolution as a human being, can evaporate a whole layer of issues, and let me see the next thing that lies beneath. it happens almost spontaneously, to be understood is to understand. i am so grateful for those who don’t give up on me, who hold my being as something of value, even in those times when i’m all holed up in my confusion, in my darkness, in my overwhelm.
musing about energy and creation
(journal entry for march 31st, 2010)
presupposing that all matter is energy, and all energy is conscious. all matter therefore being consciousness expressing itself as an idea outside of itself, at once creating and perceiving.
from a perspective further out on the “fringes” (slower frequencies, away from center), energy is perceived as matter.
energy/consciousness, groups itself together into more and more complex gestalts of activity/expression. this being representative of the “in-breath”. stability. evidenced/mirrored in the organization of “things”; of the human body, with its atoms into cells into organs into bodily systems performing specific functions. specialization, organization. ego.
triangular shape being representative of the most basic, most stable expression of energy; representing the polarities (negative/positive) plus the polarities combined into singularity. (thus the three points of the triangle). perhaps they are moving too fast for scientists to perceive, but if they are to find the smallest particles perceivable from our standpoint, they would have to be triangular.
the same consciousness/energy appears in different forms according to the dimension it seeks and finds expression within. light and sound coalescing into matter (being perceived as matter), from our perspective.
energy/consciousness flows thru patterns of form (matter) created by psychic intent. such patterns constantly change with the propensity of consciousness to move into form/stability, away from chaos, then dissolve back out into chaos (opportunity to regroup and experience new forms/patterns). THIS CREATES AN EXQUISITE IMBALANCE THAT DEFINES CREATION ITSELF.
energy “arrives” into form (psychic framework/idea), fully fills, and withdraws, creating the perception of time. the further away from center/point of origin of idea, the slower the process, the longer it “seems” to hold form (ie: rocks eons old). “before” images = clairvoyance, “after” images = memory.
higher up the spiral (faster frequency), events can be perceived in their entirety, although at ground level they are still happening. seems contradictory but its not. also, this does not equate to predestination, a point i pondered for literally years. each moment is a universe unto itself. creation extends outward in all directions/all dimensions.
on human level:
ego/personality = stability
dispersion of personality at “death” = chaos, allowing re-formation (new incarnations), new experience, new creation
larger galactic level:
“out-breath”, chaos, dispersion of consciousness into infinitely small “bits”.
“in-breath”: the gathering up of the bits into increasingly complex gestalts.
white hole/black hole, or as nassim puts it: white whole/black whole. i can see why he puts it that way.
it seems to me that this dynamic is present in everything. on the human level as the move towards ego/stability/marriage/groups/co-herence, then a restlessness, a desire to break out and create anew. its the constant give and take between settling in and breaking out that drives creation. form and non-form. stability and chaos. positive/negative, attraction/repulsion.
when i was a kid, we built forts with the neighbor kids. one of the boys had a motto: tear it down and build it better. soon as we’d finish building one, he’d have a new idea and want to use the boards to make it. it was his grand-dad who gave us most of the boards, so we kinda had to go along with him. we never got to enjoy the one we’d just built! at least have a picnic in it or something before dismantling it :) but i played with him alot anyways, cause it was so much fun designing new stuff.
positive and negative polarities, and the integration of them, all one thing. on a human level, what we are doing is realizing/internalizing that positive contains negative, and vice versa negative contains positive, so to integrate, we have to accept that both are part of and equal to the whole. by definition, the whole contains it all. embracing both creates balance, and stability, which would make sense as the way i see it, on a vastly larger scale, we are within the in-breath part of creation, coming back together.
and oh, the on/off, zero/one thing. the triangular shaped particles bouncing between negative and positive polarities, creating matter/anti-matter. “here” as long as they are “gone”.
jeez, when i get to thinking about this, what a PERFECT system it is!! creation IS the engine that drives it, assured to keep itself going for infinity. the inherent imbalance and striving towards balance, creating new movement (experiences) forever. expanding outward and inward at once.
presupposing that all matter is energy, and all energy is conscious. all matter therefore being consciousness expressing itself as an idea outside of itself, at once creating and perceiving.
from a perspective further out on the “fringes” (slower frequencies, away from center), energy is perceived as matter.
energy/consciousness, groups itself together into more and more complex gestalts of activity/expression. this being representative of the “in-breath”. stability. evidenced/mirrored in the organization of “things”; of the human body, with its atoms into cells into organs into bodily systems performing specific functions. specialization, organization. ego.
triangular shape being representative of the most basic, most stable expression of energy; representing the polarities (negative/positive) plus the polarities combined into singularity. (thus the three points of the triangle). perhaps they are moving too fast for scientists to perceive, but if they are to find the smallest particles perceivable from our standpoint, they would have to be triangular.
the same consciousness/energy appears in different forms according to the dimension it seeks and finds expression within. light and sound coalescing into matter (being perceived as matter), from our perspective.
energy/consciousness flows thru patterns of form (matter) created by psychic intent. such patterns constantly change with the propensity of consciousness to move into form/stability, away from chaos, then dissolve back out into chaos (opportunity to regroup and experience new forms/patterns). THIS CREATES AN EXQUISITE IMBALANCE THAT DEFINES CREATION ITSELF.
energy “arrives” into form (psychic framework/idea), fully fills, and withdraws, creating the perception of time. the further away from center/point of origin of idea, the slower the process, the longer it “seems” to hold form (ie: rocks eons old). “before” images = clairvoyance, “after” images = memory.
higher up the spiral (faster frequency), events can be perceived in their entirety, although at ground level they are still happening. seems contradictory but its not. also, this does not equate to predestination, a point i pondered for literally years. each moment is a universe unto itself. creation extends outward in all directions/all dimensions.
on human level:
ego/personality = stability
dispersion of personality at “death” = chaos, allowing re-formation (new incarnations), new experience, new creation
larger galactic level:
“out-breath”, chaos, dispersion of consciousness into infinitely small “bits”.
“in-breath”: the gathering up of the bits into increasingly complex gestalts.
white hole/black hole, or as nassim puts it: white whole/black whole. i can see why he puts it that way.
it seems to me that this dynamic is present in everything. on the human level as the move towards ego/stability/marriage/groups/co-herence, then a restlessness, a desire to break out and create anew. its the constant give and take between settling in and breaking out that drives creation. form and non-form. stability and chaos. positive/negative, attraction/repulsion.
when i was a kid, we built forts with the neighbor kids. one of the boys had a motto: tear it down and build it better. soon as we’d finish building one, he’d have a new idea and want to use the boards to make it. it was his grand-dad who gave us most of the boards, so we kinda had to go along with him. we never got to enjoy the one we’d just built! at least have a picnic in it or something before dismantling it :) but i played with him alot anyways, cause it was so much fun designing new stuff.
positive and negative polarities, and the integration of them, all one thing. on a human level, what we are doing is realizing/internalizing that positive contains negative, and vice versa negative contains positive, so to integrate, we have to accept that both are part of and equal to the whole. by definition, the whole contains it all. embracing both creates balance, and stability, which would make sense as the way i see it, on a vastly larger scale, we are within the in-breath part of creation, coming back together.
and oh, the on/off, zero/one thing. the triangular shaped particles bouncing between negative and positive polarities, creating matter/anti-matter. “here” as long as they are “gone”.
jeez, when i get to thinking about this, what a PERFECT system it is!! creation IS the engine that drives it, assured to keep itself going for infinity. the inherent imbalance and striving towards balance, creating new movement (experiences) forever. expanding outward and inward at once.
something gentle and magical was on my side
(journal entry from march 24th, 2010)
i was outside on the front of the house, sitting on the green swinging bench, at lunchtime. today was beautiful and warm, supposed to be 70 degrees, only made it to 66 as far as i could tell, but that was warm enough! the sky was clear and blue and it seemed very summer-like, with only a slight breeze. i was sitting there warm and relaxed, casually looking around at the yard, trees, cats, sky. i saw a bird circling around without moving its wings, looked like it was riding some invisible air wave. it wasn’t like any bird commonly seen around here. the closest thing it looked like was maybe a dove, but smallish and compact. its wings were very rounded. it immediately seemed different or special, but i can’t explain that. this first time, i only saw it for several seconds, then it flew up over the roof-line and i lost sight of it. i telepathically asked it to come back so i could watch it some more. kept looking for a minute or two, but didn’t see it again, so i figured that was that, and looked away.
so a few minutes later, i’m still sitting there rocking and enjoying the warmth, and i look up towards the sun, and there in the fuzzy glow too close to the sun to really look at, i see the bird again, banking sideways with its wings glittering in the sunlight. i could barely make it out as it was so close to the sun’s bright light. i knew it was the same bird, come back. as it moved away from the sun’s intensity, i watched it fly around, swoop and glide. it seemed to be putting on a show, for me. looking at it so intensely, i was noticing that i was seeing two birds, and thought it was just my eyesight, that i was seeing double. it kept being double, looking like two distinct birds, and i’m looking around (at tree branches it flew near, etc., not wanting to look too far away and lose sight of it) to see if i’m seeing anything else double, but no i wasn’t. then almost as if to speak to my puzzlement, one of the two birds i was seeing broke stride and flew away a little bit, out at an angle. there WERE two birds!! but they were flying in such synchrony, so perfectly mirroring each other’s movements that i was convinced i was seeing one bird. i never saw a second bird join the first one. it would have had to fly in from the side somewhere, but i was watching the whole time, and i never saw a second bird join.
then even stranger, the birds merged into one bird, then back again into two birds, right before my eyes!! by this time, i am standing up out in the driveway looking intensely skyward. the bird/birds went in and out of visibility, several times. gliding around on the breeze, with wings outstretched. then i saw a third bird! from nowhere, all of a sudden there are three of them!! playing, swooping, gliding, three distinct birds. as i was watching, they went in and out of physicality several times. three, then two, then finally just the one. as it flew around, in and out, i thought surely the sun must be reflecting light off its wing as it turns, and that is making it seem to disappear, but no, that wasn’t it. i saw it fly straight ahead, disappear, and then reappear in the same place. i looked and looked, not wanting to take my eyes off it. then finally, it disappeared for good and didn’t come back.
being all fired up about the nice spring day, wanting to be outside and work in the yard, i didn’t come in and write this down. i thought about doing that, and would have under most any other circumstances. but i was so hungry for the sun, to be outside, i just couldn’t bring myself to come in till after dark. i thought about it all afternoon though. my mind wanted to figure it out, how could it be?? it must have been some kind of optical illusion. why is it so hard to accept magical things? why must our intellect get so scandalized, and insist upon quantifying it immediately?? my heart wanted to just leave it alone. perhaps not even tell anyone. it would be easy for someone else, who hadn’t been there and seen this, to pass it off as seeing things because i was looking near the sun. but i know what i saw, and what i felt!! in my heart, i know i was being communicated with, connected with, and perhaps that is the most accurate way to say it, cause that’s how it made me feel.... that something gentle and magical was on my side.
i was outside on the front of the house, sitting on the green swinging bench, at lunchtime. today was beautiful and warm, supposed to be 70 degrees, only made it to 66 as far as i could tell, but that was warm enough! the sky was clear and blue and it seemed very summer-like, with only a slight breeze. i was sitting there warm and relaxed, casually looking around at the yard, trees, cats, sky. i saw a bird circling around without moving its wings, looked like it was riding some invisible air wave. it wasn’t like any bird commonly seen around here. the closest thing it looked like was maybe a dove, but smallish and compact. its wings were very rounded. it immediately seemed different or special, but i can’t explain that. this first time, i only saw it for several seconds, then it flew up over the roof-line and i lost sight of it. i telepathically asked it to come back so i could watch it some more. kept looking for a minute or two, but didn’t see it again, so i figured that was that, and looked away.
so a few minutes later, i’m still sitting there rocking and enjoying the warmth, and i look up towards the sun, and there in the fuzzy glow too close to the sun to really look at, i see the bird again, banking sideways with its wings glittering in the sunlight. i could barely make it out as it was so close to the sun’s bright light. i knew it was the same bird, come back. as it moved away from the sun’s intensity, i watched it fly around, swoop and glide. it seemed to be putting on a show, for me. looking at it so intensely, i was noticing that i was seeing two birds, and thought it was just my eyesight, that i was seeing double. it kept being double, looking like two distinct birds, and i’m looking around (at tree branches it flew near, etc., not wanting to look too far away and lose sight of it) to see if i’m seeing anything else double, but no i wasn’t. then almost as if to speak to my puzzlement, one of the two birds i was seeing broke stride and flew away a little bit, out at an angle. there WERE two birds!! but they were flying in such synchrony, so perfectly mirroring each other’s movements that i was convinced i was seeing one bird. i never saw a second bird join the first one. it would have had to fly in from the side somewhere, but i was watching the whole time, and i never saw a second bird join.
then even stranger, the birds merged into one bird, then back again into two birds, right before my eyes!! by this time, i am standing up out in the driveway looking intensely skyward. the bird/birds went in and out of visibility, several times. gliding around on the breeze, with wings outstretched. then i saw a third bird! from nowhere, all of a sudden there are three of them!! playing, swooping, gliding, three distinct birds. as i was watching, they went in and out of physicality several times. three, then two, then finally just the one. as it flew around, in and out, i thought surely the sun must be reflecting light off its wing as it turns, and that is making it seem to disappear, but no, that wasn’t it. i saw it fly straight ahead, disappear, and then reappear in the same place. i looked and looked, not wanting to take my eyes off it. then finally, it disappeared for good and didn’t come back.
being all fired up about the nice spring day, wanting to be outside and work in the yard, i didn’t come in and write this down. i thought about doing that, and would have under most any other circumstances. but i was so hungry for the sun, to be outside, i just couldn’t bring myself to come in till after dark. i thought about it all afternoon though. my mind wanted to figure it out, how could it be?? it must have been some kind of optical illusion. why is it so hard to accept magical things? why must our intellect get so scandalized, and insist upon quantifying it immediately?? my heart wanted to just leave it alone. perhaps not even tell anyone. it would be easy for someone else, who hadn’t been there and seen this, to pass it off as seeing things because i was looking near the sun. but i know what i saw, and what i felt!! in my heart, i know i was being communicated with, connected with, and perhaps that is the most accurate way to say it, cause that’s how it made me feel.... that something gentle and magical was on my side.
energy
(from may 21st, 2010)
you are surrounded by electricity. think about lightening, which carries on continually, whether or not you are aware of it. you live in an electrical universe, you ARE electric energy, each individual operating on a different frequency within the human range. the issue is becoming aware and learning to direct the energy that is all around you in more benevolent ways.
your earth is surrounded by an electromagnetic energy field/grid, which in a larger sense is an expression of the mass consciousness of the human race and it’s counterpart, the earth planet where you have your existence. you will automatically tap into this part of yourselves when you realize the intimate relationship you have with it.
your heart answers an electrical impulse every time it contracts to push blood through your physical body, giving you experience on the physical plane.
as long as you choose to war, hate, divide - your eyes will not see, your hearts will not know.
you exist within a self-imposed egoic framework, all too willing to abide by rules and laws set up to limit your vision. as you become ready to burst forth from that framework, you will. nothing is holding you there except ideas/beliefs you have accepted as truths. you are free to change your mind.
as free will creatures, you are free to direct your energy in any way you wish, including killing each other and abusing your planet. there is no lack of energy, its just that you have been using it in ways that have afforded you certain experiences. when you are ready for other, more integrative experiences, you will change your focus.
as each individual is a UNIverse unto himself, change begins within each person. physics will take care of the rest, as like-minded individuals automatically gravitate to each other, and coalesce into groups. it is important to take action on your new choices. it isn’t a matter of changing what already is (that is just focusing more of your energy there). it is creating something new.
create new systems, and the old ones will crumble.
don’t be so willing to play the old game of the masses, make up a new game. use your i-magi-nation. in time, the new game will be the game of the masses.
you are surrounded by electricity. think about lightening, which carries on continually, whether or not you are aware of it. you live in an electrical universe, you ARE electric energy, each individual operating on a different frequency within the human range. the issue is becoming aware and learning to direct the energy that is all around you in more benevolent ways.
your earth is surrounded by an electromagnetic energy field/grid, which in a larger sense is an expression of the mass consciousness of the human race and it’s counterpart, the earth planet where you have your existence. you will automatically tap into this part of yourselves when you realize the intimate relationship you have with it.
your heart answers an electrical impulse every time it contracts to push blood through your physical body, giving you experience on the physical plane.
as long as you choose to war, hate, divide - your eyes will not see, your hearts will not know.
you exist within a self-imposed egoic framework, all too willing to abide by rules and laws set up to limit your vision. as you become ready to burst forth from that framework, you will. nothing is holding you there except ideas/beliefs you have accepted as truths. you are free to change your mind.
as free will creatures, you are free to direct your energy in any way you wish, including killing each other and abusing your planet. there is no lack of energy, its just that you have been using it in ways that have afforded you certain experiences. when you are ready for other, more integrative experiences, you will change your focus.
as each individual is a UNIverse unto himself, change begins within each person. physics will take care of the rest, as like-minded individuals automatically gravitate to each other, and coalesce into groups. it is important to take action on your new choices. it isn’t a matter of changing what already is (that is just focusing more of your energy there). it is creating something new.
create new systems, and the old ones will crumble.
don’t be so willing to play the old game of the masses, make up a new game. use your i-magi-nation. in time, the new game will be the game of the masses.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
radiation effects on the body
march 22, 2011
when you decide, from other levels, on a "life on earth", you agree to certain mass beliefs in order to maintain the game. these mass beliefs (root assumptions) are a pretty strong hold, and for a reason, to assure your continued role in the adventures of earth.
consciousness arranges itself in gestalts, building blocks that voluntarily come together to experience various levels of Be-ing. units of consciousness form your overall "body consciousness" upon which your consciousness cooperatively rides, for the relatively brief period you in-Habit it. these atoms, molecules, cells have their own existence, and exist on a physical level within a framework in which the frequency of radiation is harmful, for radiation is a particle state of extremely high frequency. in the same way as your hand would be severed should you thrust it into a fan moving at high speed, exposure of lower frequency particles to high frequency particles disrupts their frequency pattern. the same way as a human exposed to higher extraterrestrial frequencies would be shocked and disoriented. (**this accounts for why they interact with us in astral states, when we are not as tightly focused in the lower frequencies of physical reality; we are easier to manipulate).
the units of consciousness forming the molecular structure of your body have existence within all levels/dimensions of activity, just as you do. as the body consciousness takes direction from You, it is possible to "shift everything at once" sts, into a state of being where the relationship with the hyper-spinning particles of radiation will be a harmonious one, instead of harmful.
if one is sufficiently skilled at manipulating their consciousness to play upon a range of frequencies at will, they can essentially take themselves out of harms way by perceiving themselves relating to the radiation differently. but this is rare while earthbound. while you are shifting into an existence in which most of you will have the ability to do this, the masses of you at this time, do not. if you did, that would negate the whole "game", in which you are experiencing the consequences of certain behaviors and deciding for yourselves if you wish to continue that behavior, or not.
in other levels very close to your daily waking consciousness, you are intimately aware of what the immediate future holds, and choose whether or not you prefer to be in range of potentially harmful circumstances, and may well choose this according to your own reasons.
when you decide, from other levels, on a "life on earth", you agree to certain mass beliefs in order to maintain the game. these mass beliefs (root assumptions) are a pretty strong hold, and for a reason, to assure your continued role in the adventures of earth.
consciousness arranges itself in gestalts, building blocks that voluntarily come together to experience various levels of Be-ing. units of consciousness form your overall "body consciousness" upon which your consciousness cooperatively rides, for the relatively brief period you in-Habit it. these atoms, molecules, cells have their own existence, and exist on a physical level within a framework in which the frequency of radiation is harmful, for radiation is a particle state of extremely high frequency. in the same way as your hand would be severed should you thrust it into a fan moving at high speed, exposure of lower frequency particles to high frequency particles disrupts their frequency pattern. the same way as a human exposed to higher extraterrestrial frequencies would be shocked and disoriented. (**this accounts for why they interact with us in astral states, when we are not as tightly focused in the lower frequencies of physical reality; we are easier to manipulate).
the units of consciousness forming the molecular structure of your body have existence within all levels/dimensions of activity, just as you do. as the body consciousness takes direction from You, it is possible to "shift everything at once" sts, into a state of being where the relationship with the hyper-spinning particles of radiation will be a harmonious one, instead of harmful.
if one is sufficiently skilled at manipulating their consciousness to play upon a range of frequencies at will, they can essentially take themselves out of harms way by perceiving themselves relating to the radiation differently. but this is rare while earthbound. while you are shifting into an existence in which most of you will have the ability to do this, the masses of you at this time, do not. if you did, that would negate the whole "game", in which you are experiencing the consequences of certain behaviors and deciding for yourselves if you wish to continue that behavior, or not.
in other levels very close to your daily waking consciousness, you are intimately aware of what the immediate future holds, and choose whether or not you prefer to be in range of potentially harmful circumstances, and may well choose this according to your own reasons.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
environments
from january 14, 2011
everything you experience takes you somewhere. everything you view, you hear, you read, unfolds potential in your mind, as in electrical potential, a wave of energy directed along a certain "path" - or more complexly, a movement towards a similar frequency. always towards - energy having the propensity to form groupings, poolings. so be wary (aware) of what you surround yourself with in your environment, as merely gazing upon a thing draws you into it in a certain manner, even if you are not consciously aware this is occurring.
clutter can scatter your energy in various directions. simplicity allows a more directed flow, as more of your energy - you - is at your command on a conscious aware level. similarly, noise can scatter your energy, as can all the other senses. you can consciously set up your surroundings to take you on pleasant journeys, exciting journeys, or unconsciously set yourself up for chaotic experiences.
everything you experience takes you somewhere. everything you view, you hear, you read, unfolds potential in your mind, as in electrical potential, a wave of energy directed along a certain "path" - or more complexly, a movement towards a similar frequency. always towards - energy having the propensity to form groupings, poolings. so be wary (aware) of what you surround yourself with in your environment, as merely gazing upon a thing draws you into it in a certain manner, even if you are not consciously aware this is occurring.
clutter can scatter your energy in various directions. simplicity allows a more directed flow, as more of your energy - you - is at your command on a conscious aware level. similarly, noise can scatter your energy, as can all the other senses. you can consciously set up your surroundings to take you on pleasant journeys, exciting journeys, or unconsciously set yourself up for chaotic experiences.
stepping stones
to getting to where you want to be.
from january 18th, 2011
stepping stones. it isn't because you Have to (as in being ordered so by someone or something Above) take small steps forward, or backward or sideways or wherever you want to go. its more that the distance to be bridged is an electrical factor, a frequency difference, and the length of your stride has more to do with flexibility of consciousness, and your readiness to allow.
energy pools (pools is verb), frequencies "reside" in proximity, so that when you're "in the neighborhood" so to speak, you can "see" other like attributes of that particular space/place/state of being. otherwise, you can't see them. or if you see them from afar, they seem distant and unattainable. when you're close, they seem easy and attainable. so take the easy steps, the small steps that are in front of your feet now, and they will eventually lead you to the neighborhood you want. easy to easy to easy, skipping along happily, with more and more of "you" coming into view - the whole of you. the expanded version of you is touched through ease and joy, Not suffering and sacrifice.
from january 18th, 2011
stepping stones. it isn't because you Have to (as in being ordered so by someone or something Above) take small steps forward, or backward or sideways or wherever you want to go. its more that the distance to be bridged is an electrical factor, a frequency difference, and the length of your stride has more to do with flexibility of consciousness, and your readiness to allow.
energy pools (pools is verb), frequencies "reside" in proximity, so that when you're "in the neighborhood" so to speak, you can "see" other like attributes of that particular space/place/state of being. otherwise, you can't see them. or if you see them from afar, they seem distant and unattainable. when you're close, they seem easy and attainable. so take the easy steps, the small steps that are in front of your feet now, and they will eventually lead you to the neighborhood you want. easy to easy to easy, skipping along happily, with more and more of "you" coming into view - the whole of you. the expanded version of you is touched through ease and joy, Not suffering and sacrifice.
i have a question for them
from january 11, 2011
do people (entities/personalities) always choose evil/negativity from a place of fear? can evil ever be chosen from a place of empowerment? (i asked this question after reading the law of one/ra material. it bothered me that they, ra, seemed to be saying that you had to be wary because in some systems, higher level beings were operating with negative intent, ie: to subjugate and control. it doesn't feel right to me that an entity could evolve to a high level, say 5th density, and still function segragatively. kinda goes against what i thought higher density levels were.)
and their answer:
from a place of "perceived" empowerment, yes. even the concept of fear is a perception, and is chosen as experience. at the highest levels, there is not the emotionality that you assign to these concepts. there is/exists the action dynamic of attraction and repulsion, of vacuum and beingness. there exists not the dynamics of fear and acceptance/good and evil. those are rudimentary labels you assign as you play with these ideas utilizing certain "filters". take the blinders (filters) off and the question would not need to be asked. you (will) remove the obstacles (filters) to understanding when you are finished playing that game. your game-mates don't necessarily finish, or "tire" concurrently with you, so it can seem as if there is this "big thing/series of events" going on that you damn well better pay attention to. it all seems so much bigger than you, while in reality it is, in all its grand entirety, an idea that you mentally view from the inside, from all possible angles.
do people (entities/personalities) always choose evil/negativity from a place of fear? can evil ever be chosen from a place of empowerment? (i asked this question after reading the law of one/ra material. it bothered me that they, ra, seemed to be saying that you had to be wary because in some systems, higher level beings were operating with negative intent, ie: to subjugate and control. it doesn't feel right to me that an entity could evolve to a high level, say 5th density, and still function segragatively. kinda goes against what i thought higher density levels were.)
and their answer:
from a place of "perceived" empowerment, yes. even the concept of fear is a perception, and is chosen as experience. at the highest levels, there is not the emotionality that you assign to these concepts. there is/exists the action dynamic of attraction and repulsion, of vacuum and beingness. there exists not the dynamics of fear and acceptance/good and evil. those are rudimentary labels you assign as you play with these ideas utilizing certain "filters". take the blinders (filters) off and the question would not need to be asked. you (will) remove the obstacles (filters) to understanding when you are finished playing that game. your game-mates don't necessarily finish, or "tire" concurrently with you, so it can seem as if there is this "big thing/series of events" going on that you damn well better pay attention to. it all seems so much bigger than you, while in reality it is, in all its grand entirety, an idea that you mentally view from the inside, from all possible angles.
enough
from march 3, 2011
it isn't possible to hold in conscious awareness all that you are, all that you are becoming, not in one small piece of human consciousness. you are also an integral portion of a much larger "piece" (of consciousness), and from that perspective are able to hold more of your whole self in "mind". it isn't necessary to know more than you are able to know, as one human being. for you are responsible for/to specific developmental arenas that you yourself have decided upon. its really more that you ARE specific ideas of a larger whole, but do remember that the whole is contained in all its parts, holographically speaking.
so be content with who you are, what you know, and know that it is enough, always. relaxing into yourself in total acceptance paradoxically speeds up/excites your ability to Flow more of who you are through your human form. assuming you are deficient in some way acts in the same way as an electrical resistance, slowing progress way down. as we use the word progress here we are meaning "expression of self".
it isn't possible to hold in conscious awareness all that you are, all that you are becoming, not in one small piece of human consciousness. you are also an integral portion of a much larger "piece" (of consciousness), and from that perspective are able to hold more of your whole self in "mind". it isn't necessary to know more than you are able to know, as one human being. for you are responsible for/to specific developmental arenas that you yourself have decided upon. its really more that you ARE specific ideas of a larger whole, but do remember that the whole is contained in all its parts, holographically speaking.
so be content with who you are, what you know, and know that it is enough, always. relaxing into yourself in total acceptance paradoxically speeds up/excites your ability to Flow more of who you are through your human form. assuming you are deficient in some way acts in the same way as an electrical resistance, slowing progress way down. as we use the word progress here we are meaning "expression of self".
Saturday, March 19, 2011
trust
from march 1, 2011
(again. they constantly harp on me about trust).
trust yourself!! it is your biggest challenge, in all areas of your life.
every little thing that happens has its place. trust it, even if you don't see it at the time, or maybe never see it, trust that it has its place in the nature of events. a lot of little nuts and bolts holds a big machine together, and here we are speaking of the machine of the Moment. trust, and relax.
your changing, evolving intent, thoughts and ideas continually arrange and rearrange the machinery of the one eternal moment.
trust the timing of events. indeed, trust the events themselves. all things are complete and whole within themselves.
(again. they constantly harp on me about trust).
trust yourself!! it is your biggest challenge, in all areas of your life.
every little thing that happens has its place. trust it, even if you don't see it at the time, or maybe never see it, trust that it has its place in the nature of events. a lot of little nuts and bolts holds a big machine together, and here we are speaking of the machine of the Moment. trust, and relax.
your changing, evolving intent, thoughts and ideas continually arrange and rearrange the machinery of the one eternal moment.
trust the timing of events. indeed, trust the events themselves. all things are complete and whole within themselves.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
re-define
(october 09)
its all a matter of where you are putting your energy. are you putting your energy into figuring out what you are going to do Without?, or into Having what you desire?
even a slight shift in the direction of your energy changes everything. physics says - the change must be reflected back to you from outside circumstances - which then serves to keep the ball rolling in this new direction - which adds excitement and momentum that feeds upon itself, taking you to a new place, a new experience of events.
re-define, re-define, re-define. if something isn't working in your life experience - wash it clean of meaning and look at it anew. give it a meaning that feels better. let it be Fluid. allow it to change/morph into a circumstance that works For you.
hold in mind that All events originate from you anyway. You're not suddenly performing magic to direct events into an avenue that suits you better. its the same magic you've been using all along, its just that Now you are conscious of what you've been doing.
its all a matter of where you are putting your energy. are you putting your energy into figuring out what you are going to do Without?, or into Having what you desire?
even a slight shift in the direction of your energy changes everything. physics says - the change must be reflected back to you from outside circumstances - which then serves to keep the ball rolling in this new direction - which adds excitement and momentum that feeds upon itself, taking you to a new place, a new experience of events.
re-define, re-define, re-define. if something isn't working in your life experience - wash it clean of meaning and look at it anew. give it a meaning that feels better. let it be Fluid. allow it to change/morph into a circumstance that works For you.
hold in mind that All events originate from you anyway. You're not suddenly performing magic to direct events into an avenue that suits you better. its the same magic you've been using all along, its just that Now you are conscious of what you've been doing.
pets
(early january 08)
it is a certain aspect of themselves that they express by choosing a certain pet, an identification placed outside of themselves to express something internal. a playing, if you wish to see it this way, with the energies contained within certain ideas of preferred attributes.
dogs can represent a fun way of viewing the world, loyalty, service, exuberant energy, tireless enthusiasm. in general. particular breeds can represent their own characteristics: breeds with a reputation for toughness, fighting, aggression being chosen for the expression of energy the owners themselves wish to convey - but are allowing the dog to "do it for them" sts.
ferrets, ferreting out possibilities, a little stealthfully.
*notes: since this does not mention cats, which are my choice of pet, i'm thinking that this is in response to my questioning of why some particular people in my life have a fascination with pit bulls, and in the past... ferrets. further note: let it be known that i have nothing personal against pit bulls. the one i was in contact with seemed to be a sweet and lovable dog.
it is a certain aspect of themselves that they express by choosing a certain pet, an identification placed outside of themselves to express something internal. a playing, if you wish to see it this way, with the energies contained within certain ideas of preferred attributes.
dogs can represent a fun way of viewing the world, loyalty, service, exuberant energy, tireless enthusiasm. in general. particular breeds can represent their own characteristics: breeds with a reputation for toughness, fighting, aggression being chosen for the expression of energy the owners themselves wish to convey - but are allowing the dog to "do it for them" sts.
ferrets, ferreting out possibilities, a little stealthfully.
*notes: since this does not mention cats, which are my choice of pet, i'm thinking that this is in response to my questioning of why some particular people in my life have a fascination with pit bulls, and in the past... ferrets. further note: let it be known that i have nothing personal against pit bulls. the one i was in contact with seemed to be a sweet and lovable dog.
insightful snippet
undated.
it is easy to "lose oneself" in the drawn out play of events in one's daily life, falling into the spaces between effort and effect. however, there is always value in the effort, even if one loses sight (albeit temporarily) of the outcome. the reaching towards the next thing is the creative force of life in action.
it is easy to "lose oneself" in the drawn out play of events in one's daily life, falling into the spaces between effort and effect. however, there is always value in the effort, even if one loses sight (albeit temporarily) of the outcome. the reaching towards the next thing is the creative force of life in action.
nothing to lose, inner/outer self, joy
(from 9-9-09)
the place of "having nothing to lose" is often the best place to start/begin. there can be a building up of the new, without a feeling of tearing down the old. the old is not working, has not worked for some time, which puts one in an excellent place for play and exploration.
those gems of knowledge, that sense of trust, is discovered by way of taking action, being trusting enough, thoughtful enough, indeed Committed enough, to one's own overall development, to take action on the next small thing, and the next small thing, etc, without necessarily knowing/being able to see the outcome.
the inner self is similar to the human eye in the way that it cannot "see" itself, except through reflection. like the back of the eyeball, it processes the data that the front of the eye is exposing itself to. the front of the eye (ego) cannot see the back of the eye, but knows that it exists if for no other reason than that it itself exists. one whole unit, with various parts/aspects performing different functions within an overall "one" function, to see/experience/know.
the ego, or outer self, does its part just by existing, by being in the world, existing physically. in a sense, it can't go wrong. everything it encounters is processed by the inner self, and added to the vast storehouse of knowledge and experience that forms the individual personality.
the more open, soft, and malleable a personality is, the more data it can gather for its "whole self"; rigidity on the other hand just brings more of the same. even that (rigidity) is useful, as just one more kind of experience that can be had.
we are always saying "just have fun with it!", and that is a bigger statement than it may seem. the attitude/mindset of fun is relaxed, soft, impressionable, and can absorb more experience.
when one is doing something for the pure joy of it, there is no higher attunement with one's soul/higher self to be had on the physical plane.
the more one gives attention to/notices what brings one closer to, or separates one from, one's joy and passion in life, the finer edged their tool of discernment becomes.
the place of "having nothing to lose" is often the best place to start/begin. there can be a building up of the new, without a feeling of tearing down the old. the old is not working, has not worked for some time, which puts one in an excellent place for play and exploration.
those gems of knowledge, that sense of trust, is discovered by way of taking action, being trusting enough, thoughtful enough, indeed Committed enough, to one's own overall development, to take action on the next small thing, and the next small thing, etc, without necessarily knowing/being able to see the outcome.
the inner self is similar to the human eye in the way that it cannot "see" itself, except through reflection. like the back of the eyeball, it processes the data that the front of the eye is exposing itself to. the front of the eye (ego) cannot see the back of the eye, but knows that it exists if for no other reason than that it itself exists. one whole unit, with various parts/aspects performing different functions within an overall "one" function, to see/experience/know.
the ego, or outer self, does its part just by existing, by being in the world, existing physically. in a sense, it can't go wrong. everything it encounters is processed by the inner self, and added to the vast storehouse of knowledge and experience that forms the individual personality.
the more open, soft, and malleable a personality is, the more data it can gather for its "whole self"; rigidity on the other hand just brings more of the same. even that (rigidity) is useful, as just one more kind of experience that can be had.
we are always saying "just have fun with it!", and that is a bigger statement than it may seem. the attitude/mindset of fun is relaxed, soft, impressionable, and can absorb more experience.
when one is doing something for the pure joy of it, there is no higher attunement with one's soul/higher self to be had on the physical plane.
the more one gives attention to/notices what brings one closer to, or separates one from, one's joy and passion in life, the finer edged their tool of discernment becomes.
on stuckedness and letting go
(from august 2009)
the opportunities you seek will arise Within you. they are not something outside of yourself that you must Find. but we know what you mean when you ask the question.
you contain it All, already. you may, if you wish, allow yourself to shift your focus, alighting on one possibility and then another, and notice what you perceive. does the thing you are contemplating "light up", does it light up more or less than the other thing? notice, have fun with it, be in joyful spirit. we prod you with encouragement only because you have asked. you are perfect already.
use your stuckedness as a platform to leap from. use your inertia as contrast to push yourself off. start where you are, in Every moment! it is the nature of things anyway... there is only the moment, and a perpetually new you.
let it be as it is. know what you know. its alright. no need to keep questioning it.
if the flow seems slow to you in one area, move into an area that moves a little faster, if that feels more comfortable to you. perception is part of the discernment process.
One thing will light up, shine brighter, if you don't judge it with pre-conceived ideas/thoughts.
this is a key point when we attempt to connect - to reach towards you as you have reached towards us. Let Go!! things do not have to be a certain way. go by your feelings. allow yourself to feel good, to feel satisfied... you are good at noticing when you don't. feel it when you do.
narrow your focus, walk a thinner line, lighten up your load. let go of what does not fit. quit arranging and re-arranging and trying to Make things fit.
bring your focus more into what's immediately ahead of you... paradoxically you will be clearing the path for the "future", widening the possibilities, and becoming more of who you are, doing more of what is your overall (oversoul if you will) intent.
the opportunities you seek will arise Within you. they are not something outside of yourself that you must Find. but we know what you mean when you ask the question.
you contain it All, already. you may, if you wish, allow yourself to shift your focus, alighting on one possibility and then another, and notice what you perceive. does the thing you are contemplating "light up", does it light up more or less than the other thing? notice, have fun with it, be in joyful spirit. we prod you with encouragement only because you have asked. you are perfect already.
use your stuckedness as a platform to leap from. use your inertia as contrast to push yourself off. start where you are, in Every moment! it is the nature of things anyway... there is only the moment, and a perpetually new you.
let it be as it is. know what you know. its alright. no need to keep questioning it.
if the flow seems slow to you in one area, move into an area that moves a little faster, if that feels more comfortable to you. perception is part of the discernment process.
One thing will light up, shine brighter, if you don't judge it with pre-conceived ideas/thoughts.
this is a key point when we attempt to connect - to reach towards you as you have reached towards us. Let Go!! things do not have to be a certain way. go by your feelings. allow yourself to feel good, to feel satisfied... you are good at noticing when you don't. feel it when you do.
narrow your focus, walk a thinner line, lighten up your load. let go of what does not fit. quit arranging and re-arranging and trying to Make things fit.
bring your focus more into what's immediately ahead of you... paradoxically you will be clearing the path for the "future", widening the possibilities, and becoming more of who you are, doing more of what is your overall (oversoul if you will) intent.
on denial
(from november 29th, 2009)
denial IS separation. separating yourself from your own truth, in an attempt to keep yourself in the cocoon of the known. a comfort zone of security in a sea of chaos. but your truth eeks out, in compulsion, attitude, eventually in ill health.
separation feels like a danger zone of "lost and possibly never found".
one's truth is never really lost, or separated from one's soul. it can't be, it is who you are. but it can be held outside your conscious awareness, relegated to the subconscious where you hold those aspects of yourselves you are not ready to incorporate. its always there, and a delicious tension exists between that truth and the lives you live. the process of opening up to more of yourselves, living your true being, defines this time on your earth, this age in your history, that you all have chosen to participate in. individually, and collectively, expanding, opening up and bringing more of yourselves into the light and letting go of what doesn't fit. reconnecting with the parts of yourselves you've denied and therefore experienced as separated from, for so long.
denial IS separation. separating yourself from your own truth, in an attempt to keep yourself in the cocoon of the known. a comfort zone of security in a sea of chaos. but your truth eeks out, in compulsion, attitude, eventually in ill health.
separation feels like a danger zone of "lost and possibly never found".
one's truth is never really lost, or separated from one's soul. it can't be, it is who you are. but it can be held outside your conscious awareness, relegated to the subconscious where you hold those aspects of yourselves you are not ready to incorporate. its always there, and a delicious tension exists between that truth and the lives you live. the process of opening up to more of yourselves, living your true being, defines this time on your earth, this age in your history, that you all have chosen to participate in. individually, and collectively, expanding, opening up and bringing more of yourselves into the light and letting go of what doesn't fit. reconnecting with the parts of yourselves you've denied and therefore experienced as separated from, for so long.
on supplements
(march 18th, 2010):
the body is its own consciousness, upon which yours rides. your personality is/gives the organizing principle for/on behalf of, the myriad cells/molecules and atoms making up the physical structure. these components vibrate within a certain range in order that physical participation is achieved. where upon the components are given/supplied with the necessary "ingredients" sts, to operate at their optimal level ("optimal" being arbitrary, according to the intent of the individual), they function according to the environment they are given by the organizing principle of their existence within the human personality range. certain substances, which operate upon certain frequencies co-merging with the more basic construction of the body - can effect the functioning structures of that overall organization to be more removed from, or closer to, the primary intent of the personality.
there is a point where this becomes irrelevant. barring a personal recognition of that point, adjusting the function of the physical structures by adjusting the molecular environment can assist one in aligning with their intent. this can be in the form of adding to, Or taking away.
the body is its own consciousness, upon which yours rides. your personality is/gives the organizing principle for/on behalf of, the myriad cells/molecules and atoms making up the physical structure. these components vibrate within a certain range in order that physical participation is achieved. where upon the components are given/supplied with the necessary "ingredients" sts, to operate at their optimal level ("optimal" being arbitrary, according to the intent of the individual), they function according to the environment they are given by the organizing principle of their existence within the human personality range. certain substances, which operate upon certain frequencies co-merging with the more basic construction of the body - can effect the functioning structures of that overall organization to be more removed from, or closer to, the primary intent of the personality.
there is a point where this becomes irrelevant. barring a personal recognition of that point, adjusting the function of the physical structures by adjusting the molecular environment can assist one in aligning with their intent. this can be in the form of adding to, Or taking away.
intention to post my own channelings
at this very late date in the game, and as a part of my own expansion, have decided to go a bit more "public" with the reams of information i get for myself thru automatic writing. i have never known what to call them (though i think this is a bit by design); they converse with me telepathically as a group, and often will say "We this, or We that..." alot of times, this communication is in response to specific questions i ask of them, but sometimes it just comes to me out of the blue (oftentimes when i'm in the shower, ha!). but even then, most times it concerns something i have been thinking about intently, and often addresses my confusion in a helpful way.
i think a lot of people are doing this now, as things are speeding up and we are getting closer to ourselves. the thing i wrestle with is feeling like a big dork. in fact, i was thinking of naming this blog "tales from the dork side". but since it is a feeling i'd like to pass through and not perpetuate, i won't do that (cause then i'd have to remind myself of what a big dork i am every time i log in). also, i have worried from time to time whether or not this whole thing is symbolic of multiple personality disorder, since i do literally hear voices in my head. but i don't care about that anymore. i'm much more relaxed into, and accepting of, my Self, and all my weirdness and idiosyncrasies.
i'm going to pull some random older pieces that have been helpful to me, and post them first. then maybe start posting daily fresh info at some point. my thinking had been that this info is for me, and probably wouldn't be helpful to others, but then i tested it by sharing with a few others and they Did find it helpful, so here goes...
and oh... an explanation of why i refer to this as channeling: it comes in a sort of "block" of information, a bunch at once, and i write really really fast, so fast that sometimes i can't read it so well afterwards. my arm and hand used to "twitch a lot" (ok go ahead and have a laugh at that one), kinda make these little jerking motions as i am writing. but that has largely stopped over the years. still happens a little bit, sometimes. but the most overwhelming proof for me that this is coming from *at least* a different level of my being, is that i have no idea from one word to the next what i will write. it bypasses my critical thinking, i am not "forming a sentence, deciding how to word it, etc." i had to learn to trust this process over time, because at first it felt really silly, to start writing a sentence that i didn't know what would be said, what word would follow next. and maybe that is at least one reason it comes so fast, so i don't have time to think about it. i feel an Urge to write, and i feel Loving information right there at my fingertips. in the past, i've felt this Urge, and known there was something there, but didn't take the time to write it down. i was too busy to be bothered :) but i've found that when i do take the time, what i write is reliably good information, for me anyway. usually helps me to see things from a renewed perspective. so now i write, if at all possible, whenever i feel the Urge. i do know that i have the ability to voice channel as well, and that is something i always wanted to play around with more. but i would need another person... and i found that when i did have someone to be on the receiving end, and we did this, my emotional, and critical facilities would often times jump in and object, stopping the flow. i never learned to stay "out there, on the fence". also, i never learned to do it "at will". i never figured out what circumstances lined up just right to allow "them" to speak through me. well, some of it i figured out... but i still couldn't just decide to have a session and sit down and do it. sometimes they would come through in the middle of the night, seemingly unbidden, but my voice would be just a whisper, as if they could not turn up the volume, so much was lost. and sometimes i would (and still do) speak loudly in a different language (i only speak english, consciously anyway)... i do not know how this is connected. well, enough for now. enough to explain why i refer to this as channeling.
i think a lot of people are doing this now, as things are speeding up and we are getting closer to ourselves. the thing i wrestle with is feeling like a big dork. in fact, i was thinking of naming this blog "tales from the dork side". but since it is a feeling i'd like to pass through and not perpetuate, i won't do that (cause then i'd have to remind myself of what a big dork i am every time i log in). also, i have worried from time to time whether or not this whole thing is symbolic of multiple personality disorder, since i do literally hear voices in my head. but i don't care about that anymore. i'm much more relaxed into, and accepting of, my Self, and all my weirdness and idiosyncrasies.
i'm going to pull some random older pieces that have been helpful to me, and post them first. then maybe start posting daily fresh info at some point. my thinking had been that this info is for me, and probably wouldn't be helpful to others, but then i tested it by sharing with a few others and they Did find it helpful, so here goes...
and oh... an explanation of why i refer to this as channeling: it comes in a sort of "block" of information, a bunch at once, and i write really really fast, so fast that sometimes i can't read it so well afterwards. my arm and hand used to "twitch a lot" (ok go ahead and have a laugh at that one), kinda make these little jerking motions as i am writing. but that has largely stopped over the years. still happens a little bit, sometimes. but the most overwhelming proof for me that this is coming from *at least* a different level of my being, is that i have no idea from one word to the next what i will write. it bypasses my critical thinking, i am not "forming a sentence, deciding how to word it, etc." i had to learn to trust this process over time, because at first it felt really silly, to start writing a sentence that i didn't know what would be said, what word would follow next. and maybe that is at least one reason it comes so fast, so i don't have time to think about it. i feel an Urge to write, and i feel Loving information right there at my fingertips. in the past, i've felt this Urge, and known there was something there, but didn't take the time to write it down. i was too busy to be bothered :) but i've found that when i do take the time, what i write is reliably good information, for me anyway. usually helps me to see things from a renewed perspective. so now i write, if at all possible, whenever i feel the Urge. i do know that i have the ability to voice channel as well, and that is something i always wanted to play around with more. but i would need another person... and i found that when i did have someone to be on the receiving end, and we did this, my emotional, and critical facilities would often times jump in and object, stopping the flow. i never learned to stay "out there, on the fence". also, i never learned to do it "at will". i never figured out what circumstances lined up just right to allow "them" to speak through me. well, some of it i figured out... but i still couldn't just decide to have a session and sit down and do it. sometimes they would come through in the middle of the night, seemingly unbidden, but my voice would be just a whisper, as if they could not turn up the volume, so much was lost. and sometimes i would (and still do) speak loudly in a different language (i only speak english, consciously anyway)... i do not know how this is connected. well, enough for now. enough to explain why i refer to this as channeling.
well, whattayaknow?
google found my blog! i started this thing centuries ago, then one time when i tried to log into it, google disavowed any knowledge of me or my blog. after several attempts i gave up. wasn't really anything on here, Except for my Name, and it pissed me off to be told that that name was already taken (yeah, by ME!) when i tried to start a new blog.
time sure passes fast! i don't even know mr. sampson anymore. not too sure that he ever existed in the first place. you know how us Old People are... kinda forgetful around the edges.
time sure passes fast! i don't even know mr. sampson anymore. not too sure that he ever existed in the first place. you know how us Old People are... kinda forgetful around the edges.
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