reality creation, energie configuration, and the game

we’re repeatedly told by friendly unseen entities that we create our own reality.  i’ve taken this to mean that the way we interact with the world, our attitudes and beliefs, determines the reflections we receive back, which we then react to, and so on, creating our life’s circumstances.  its easy to see how we can really dig ourselves in, into patterns of behavior.  which is the intention, i suppose.  so we can have the experience of holding particular thought patterns, and see how those translate into physical reality.  

but here recently, i am reading and hearing the same words as always, but getting something more.  seth says in one of the early sessions books that when we dream, we do not Go anywhere.  the dream scenario we are encountering is composed of the same atoms and molecules that compose the dresser, bed, and rug during waking hours.  we re-configure them to construct dream objects.  he says we are doing the exact same thing when we are awake, configuring our physical surroundings from our own energy.  but in slow motion because we do it within the context of time, so that we can experience the Process of reality creation in minute detail.  

i channeled some information a few months ago in response to my concern about chemtrails.  inner self, or whatever the source is (i’m not sure myself where it comes from; you’d think i’d be, but i’m not), says that we configure the sky with our very own energy, just the way we configure everything else in our environment.  if we believe the chemtrails are there, we see them.  nothing is being done to us.  we are seeing the physical results of our fearful beliefs that we Can be controlled.  (happy to say that there are no more chemtrails in the sky.  i figure an agreement was reached on some level and we are now in the process of cleaning up our earth, which will not take long at all, and everything will be fresh and new again!)

we are born, by choice, into established thought/belief/energy patterns; expecting to be pulled into them like magnets, according to our purposes.  as many people flow their energy into a particular belief/idea, it becomes a stronger and stronger magnet drawing even more people in, and probabilities associated with it become stronger potentials for unfoldment in the physical arena of activity.  the ‘things’ that seem so stable and consistent, year after year, are the things that many many people flow energy into and therefore create en mass.  but that doesn’t mean those things are any more “real” to a particular individual that doesn’t believe in them and therefore doesn’t create them for themselves.  

i recall seth telling the tuesday evening class that there exists a different coffee table for each person in the room, because each person creates their own version of the telepathically agreed-upon idea that there is a coffee table in front of the couch.  Really Getting this explains So Much.  so much.  

couple days ago, i was in the store looking for flipflops to replace  my old ones that suddenly came apart (to add to the list of shoes that have fell apart on my feet... will have to do some more musing on that one.  shoes and window blinds falling apart).  i’m a small thin person and wear a child’s size 2 shoe.  both kids and adult-sized summer shoes were on the same aisle, but were separated into different groups of bins.  i scoured the whole aisle, both sections, and couldn’t find what i was looking for in my size.  then i looked it all over again just to be sure i wasn’t missing something.  nothing.  i meandered around to the next aisle over to pick up some fabric dye for a project i’m working on.  as i walked, the thought popped into my head that that was the same store where i’d found the animal crackers a year or two ago.  in that incident, after looking and looking for some and giving up, i suddenly spotted two boxes of them (i needed two, one for each grandkid that was visiting) sitting on a random shelf out of context with the surrounding items.  the store clerk had expressed surprise when i checked out with them, saying that they haven’t sold those there for years, where did i find them? (these were not old or outdated).   

so i grabbed the box of dye and walked back around through the shoe aisle and headed for the register.  walking by the adult-sized shoes, i then see a whole section full of just the kind of flipflops i was hoping to find, in kid’s sizes, tucked in amongst the adult ones, just the right color, and there was a size 2 right on top!!  i swear they weren’t there before!  i had checked through the adult ones looking for a size 5, because even though that is too big, it would be better than wearing my boots around in 80 degree weather.  so i had looked right there, and those kid’s ones were Not there before!  its not rocket science to figure out that having my inner self remind me of the earlier ‘creating the animal crackers’ incident, tweaked my beliefs so that i could do it again.  of course, i created the whole incident in its entirely, including them not being there before.  

knowing that we do configure energy to reflect our beliefs, on the spot, in the moment, takes it a step beyond law of attraction.  its instantaneous, and that makes sense to me.  if there is no time, if there is just one big spacious present, then nothing Has to wait to unfold ‘in time’, it can just instantly Be.  the idea of time lapses is there to appease our ego, who wants to believe that it will take some ‘time and effort’ to get what we want.  cause that is part of the game, and we scandalize the ego at our own 3D peril.  

this reminds me of a dream experience that happened Years ago,  back in the mid-80’s, but one that is so much a part of my conscious Self that i could never forget it.  i dreamt that there was No Time or Space.  i was like a point of energy, and i never moved, yet paradoxically i was constantly changing.  All experiences came to me as i desired them;  i didn’t move out to meet them, and they didn’t move through space to reach me, because there was no space.  there was only my thoughts, and whatever i was thinking, just was.  Everything was Inside me, there was no outside.  there is a neutralness in this idea, as i’m remembering and expressing it now, that appeals to me. 

i was thinking too of how at random times, the walls and furniture look wavery to me, and the air seems alive.  sometimes i see trails of intense color following motions, like of someone’s arm moving or feet walking.   i’m thinking that all the tripping i did in my youth opened up pathways that allowed my conscious egoic mind to temporarily experience reality creation on the other side of the curtain, sts; and once opened, i sometimes stumble into them again, seeing clues to the game we play in 3D.   

pleiadian channel wendy kennedy said, when answering someone’s question about 2012, that we wouldn’t reveal the secrets of the game to ourselves until we were ready to step out of it, and then it will be like a series of cascading ‘aha’ moments.  in some ways i feel so close to that already.  yet i still exist within routine everyday life.  while i have my moments of insight, and magical things happen Daily, i still do not have a mate, though i want one.  and i wonder what life will be like this time next year, and if i am on the right train.  

what a fucking rollercoaster ride

had a dream last night of putting my mother to bed, upstairs, in a huge old house with lots of dusty old empty rooms, offering to let her use my electric blanket to keep warm.  we had just impulsively purchased the house that day (curiously enough, after having just rented another big house that morning).  then i was walking around in the backyard and discovered that there were Really Tall trees everywhere, blocking the sun.  ugh!!  again!!  recording my dream, i realized it wasn’t my mother i was dreaming about, but symbolically, my motherhood.  that part of me who strives to be the best mom i can be, putting all my focus and energy into making a stable home for my kids.  time to put her to bed.  felt a little bad about leaving her all alone in that big empty house, offering her just the energy (electric blanket) of my understanding to keep her warm.  

that part of my Self is clearly done; and somewhere inside me, it feels like all the surface enthusiasm, light and cheer, is...  Pushed.  i’m tryin a little too hard, where no trying should be happening at all.  “Things” falling away from me, shedding the skin of this persona, faster and faster.  evident especially in material things... don’t care about old photos, cds, books, furniture, giving stuff away and throwing stuff out, right and left.  but also in ideas, pieces of me i used to feel adamant about that now are just neutral ideas i no longer associate myself with (that Does feel lighter!).  

sitting squarely in the middle of the paradoxical being that i am,  seeing both sides of me at once, bringing them together and canceling them out.  no accident that i was born on the summer solstice.  square in the middle of outgoing gemini and homebody cancer.  equal mental and emotional perspectives.  equal feminine and masculine energies.  in a way i feel triumphant.  in another way, i feel unfulfilled, that there is Sooo much more that i could have achieved.  not even achieved in the usual sense, but more like Orchestrated.  but i find myself now feeling like i have to scrounge around for the energy to do anything else, and wonder too if there is any point.  

my usual way of being - which is to touch upon things as they come up and interest me in the moment, but not really delving deep into them - seems lacking in a way, now.  skimming the surface, tasting, but not really indulging.  maybe i’m just hungry.  maybe i’m not getting my hunger satiated here.  maybe i’m just in a weird mood because its cold and rainy and the first day of July.  Most Definitely feel uplifted when i sit on a blanket in the sun!  

it Always (and i’m not one to throw absolutes around frivolously), always amazed me that people could feel lonely with so many huMans on the planet.  guess i just had to experience it for myself.  it is most definitely a Psychological thing.  i have loving relationships with people, family.  but never feel all the way free to express Me.  when i posted earlier about my ET experience, it felt like what i have Imagined it would feel like to come out as gay.  to say something to not only your family but your friends and just random people who may run across your words, something that you know will change their perception of you.  its a little scary in that you risk losing acceptance, risk your Place in the scheme of the life you have built up around your Being.  but to not say it risks Your Self.  so it comes to a point where you Must say it, no matter what.  because the consequences of keeping yourself buried are not acceptable anymore.  so i wrote about just the one experience.  and No One, no one, NO ONE! even commented on it.  makes me realize how sequestered i have become in my own little world of just trying to keep up.  being content with learning new little artistic things and expressing my colorful being in small little ways that are really just little ways i try to keep my spirits high and ignore all the copious bullshit going on in the world.  

i have no idea what will become of me.  that is probably a problem.  as i’m supposed to be forming it in my mind ahead of me and moving into it, like one would move into a new room.  the other day i thought about how the place i’m now living is down, a downward-facing culdesac just like the one i grew up in.  with a creek behind it, granted.  but down.  the One thing i have Always wanted is to live on top of a hill.  some part of me is thinking it is just Not Meant to Be, not in this lifetime.  when i totally, blindly, overlook things, then they proceed to come up on the side of me, with me not seeing them until its too late, then i gotta believe they were meant to be.  sent from some other level of myself because unbeknownst to the wakingly-conscious me, this is what i came here for.  i have a sense that when i stop pushing altogether, when that last little bit of umph! is gone, that will be it.  its a matter of value fulfillment, as seth says.  you will focus here as long as you (your soul, higher self, entity, whatever) are getting something out of it, but not a second longer.  i suppose i can take from that that as long as i continue to wake up in the mornings, there is something here for me to do.  

can’t help but think of britta, who died in her sleep.  geez... don’t really want to end with that thought, but have nothing more to say.